Yet again in my life, I have need of a CCW weapon. Not any ordinary CCW weapon, but something very special. A salesman special to be exact. Something to use on those too stupid to understand the words "No", "Hell NO", "Not a Chance", or "I Already Told You I AINT Buying Your Crap".... Something for those who have read "overcomming objections" once too often. Something tho give them an objection they CANT overcome.

My theory is I say no once. If they want to argue, I knee cap them with this CCW. Not any ordinary shattered kneecap kneecapping, I want to blow the lower 1/2 of that leg into the middle of next month. If they STILL dont get the idea and want to sell me crap, I gut-shoot them. Not any ordinary gut-shooting, I want to open them up like a trout and leave thier top 1/2 crawiling around like that zombie from "Night of the Living Dead". If they are STILL too stupid to get the idea, then they are out of warning shots and I want to vaporize the bastard. Think Star Wars Death-Star level vaporization. No pansy exution shot to the back of the head. I want a full-blown VAPORIZATION.

I've been thinking of sawing down a 105 Howitzer, but am afraid that might break CCW laws. Soooo...Anybody got any other suggestions ???

Oh, and did I meantion I hate salesmen who wont take no for an answer ????

If i have to shoot someone its in the chest to stop them dead.

Taurus Judge:

Put a wire grid on top of your Welcome mat. Plug it into a 220 socket when they come to the door. You dont even have to answer.....

quote Originally posted by rogergarrison: Put a wire grid on top of your Welcome mat. Plug it into a 220 socket when they come to the door. You dont even have to answer.....

OOohhhhh.......can I rig a sprinkler system JUST above that set-up ???

If they are coming up to your front door, you don't need a CCW. Just don't answer or shut the door if you already answered. If they are bothering you on the street, just walk away from them. You don't need a gun to get away from a salesman.

The only time you need a gun is when you are fearing for your life or the life of someone else.

Ever see those dolls that "pout" in the corner? hang one from a noose behind where you answer the door. If it's from a ceiling fan you get a better effect. When you see them knocking just splash a little fake blood on it and answer the door with your bloody bat. Make sure you open the door WIDE and invite them in waving the bat to motion the entrance. worked for JW's that wouldn't go away.

(disclaimer: cops will show up. you need to show them what you did and why. It's not illegal)

Yeah... i'm a little strange. it's ok though.

Or... a simple sawed off double barrel 12 gauge and a large thing of plastic as a door mat. If they have any brains at all they'll get the hint. Just keep looking around outside like your looking for potential witnesses.

quote Originally posted by Doug85GT: If they are coming up to your front door, you don't need a CCW. Just don't answer or shut the door if you already answered. If they are bothering you on the street, just walk away from them. You don't need a gun to get away from a salesman. The only time you need a gun is when you are fearing for your life or the life of someone else.

Walking away or closing a door is easy...until the other party refuses to respect your descision. THEN, you gradually increase levels of force (if you are civilized) up to and including gutting them alive, in order to impose your own will on what is yours. (In this case my wallet).....And yeh, if you are too stupid to understand "no" the 1st 3 times, then salesmen DO deserve to be vaporized. Simple darwinism in action.

Wouldn't the use of a tazer be more fun? You could even make them do a little dance with it.

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: Walking away or closing a door is easy...until the other party refuses to respect your descision. THEN, you gradually increase levels of force (if you are civilized) up to and including gutting them alive, in order to impose your own will on what is yours. (In this case my wallet).....And yeh, if you are too stupid to understand "no" the 1st 3 times, then salesmen DO deserve to be vaporized. Simple darwinism in action.

I guess i misunderstood too... Shooting a sales guy that is standing at the door would be a quick trip to jail for you. I thought we were being serious at first

It was a joke man, based on an a-hole who walked into my shop today and wanted to sell me advertising services at 3 times what I pay now....

but it does get me thinking..I said "no"..."no thanks"...politely--and yeah I did finally after 20 minutes get snarley with this guy...

Why the eff should we put up with it from some people ?....what ?--thier politics, thier busines, thier relegion, makes them exempt from basic standards ??

"no" means g-d effin "no"...there is no room for "yeh, but", there is no room for discussion, there is no room for negotiation......its my office, I said "no", and by trying to object they are challenging my authority over what is mine---who the eff do they think they are ??? I made my descition. There is no right of appeal. I dont wanna discuss it, I'm not interested in it, I dont wanna hear about it..shut the eff up and pee the eff off, take your pruduct with you and stop bothering me.

I am NOT BUYING YOUR SHEET, and if you want to argue with me--then I want you dead. Its my choice, my property, my authority....and I will not be challenged or mastered by somebody who wants ME to buy from HIM ????

Think about it---who is in charge in a sales/ customer relationship----THE CUSTOMER.........some azzhole sales types just got that backwards...

[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 04-04-2011).]

quote Originally posted by MidEngineManiac: It was a joke man, based on an a-hole who walked into my shop today and wanted to sell me advertising services at 3 times what I pay now....

Ya i know that now. i was tired when i read the first post. I have had a nap now so i get the joke

Lightweight. You can't even get rid of a Salesman? We KNOW how to get rid of them in Jersey.

"Yo, boys! Warm up the pickup, and get the shovel. I got 4,000 acres of Pine Barrens out back. Wanna take a little ride, Salesboy?"

I'm right in town, and I don't get NO stinkin' salesmen at my house. At least not twice.

quote Originally posted by Zeb: Lightweight. You can't even get rid of a Salesman? We KNOW how to get rid of them in Jersey. "Yo, boys! Warm up the pickup, and get the shovel. I got 4,000 acres of Pine Barrens out back. Wanna take a little ride, Salesboy?" I'm right in town, and I don't get NO stinkin' salesmen at my house. At least not twice.

Sure--works for you.....I'm Danish and dont have no cousin Vinnie !! Cousin Eric dieeded about 1,000 years ago when Canadian winters got to him !!!!

[This message has been edited by MidEngineManiac (edited 04-04-2011).]

Okay, so it'd be more like:

"Eh, Eric. Warm up de snowmobile. I tink de lake be just aboot thawed. Dis hoser here, he can't wait to swim!"

That work for 'ya?

Ok... the "boom stick" painted in nothing but "NO!"'s all over it. that should do it.

Ruger 454 Alaskan



This will do exactly what you asked, but don't do it.