quote Originally posted by Formula88: Granted. It snows 3' deep in Florida, effectively paralyzing the entire state for a month. Meanwhile, a Category 5 Hurricane wipes London, Ontario off the map. I wish I could visit my friend Marcella in Italy.

Granted. But she is having a major case of P.M.S.

I wish I could actually win at McDonalds menopoly

------------------
"A mobile home with a flat tire, is just a home."
"If some one ask if your ticklish it doesn't matter if you say yes or no, they're still going to touch you. That's why when they ask you say something like, I have diarria! but yes I am very ticklish"
How fast does a zebra have to run before it looks gray?"

quote Originally posted by Fiero_Fan_88: I wish I could actually win at McDonalds menopoly

Granted. You won some man candy.

I wish I could find a good paint shop to paint my Fiero.

[This message has been edited by Formula88 (edited 10-18-2007).]

quote Originally posted by Formula88: I wish I could find a good paint shop to paint my Fiero.

Granted: but all the guys that work there learned by painting subways and buildings so you car is covered with graffiti.

I wish I could sleep at night like regular people...

quote Originally posted by F-I-E-R-O: Granted: but all the guys that work there learned by painting subways and buildings so you car is covered with graffiti. I wish I could sleep at night like regular people...

Granted. But from lack of sleep build up your now in a coma

I wish some one would sell me the stock sub woofer set up for my fiero

Granted, but you have to take their wife too. The nagging one. That doesn't let you sleep.

I wish I didn't have to work today...

quote Originally posted by AntiKev: I wish I didn't have to work today...

Granted: now you're a beautiful blond whose gotten herself locked in her car with no one to call for help...

I wish I knew more about high tech embroidery sewing machines...

quote Originally posted by Martha Stewart: I wish I knew more about high tech embroidery sewing machines...

Granted... You get cought obstructing justice again and serve 10 years this time.

I wish I could get some sleep.

quote Originally posted by 84Bill: I wish I could get some sleep.

Granted: As you skip down the sidewalk with your eyes closed singing "I'm every woman" by Chaka Khan, you slip on a fresh pile of bull mastiff poo- hitting your head on the side walk, causing you to slip into unconsciousness. From that point on, every time you take a crap, the odor induces a narcoleptic episode that can only be broken by someone or something licking your face.

I wish I had my two finger tips back.

quote Originally posted by F-I-E-R-O: I wish I had my two finger tips back.

You have your two finger tips back, however they are now permanently inserted into each one of your nostrils.

I wish we had an actual summer (sunshine, hot days, etc) this year on the BC coast.

quote Originally posted by Patrick: I wish we had an actual summer (sunshine, hot days, etc) this year on the BC coast.

Granted although the ozone layer is nearly gone and its about 250F in the sun.

I wish I had time to come up with a really good wish.

quote Originally posted by HIOSILVER!: Granted although the ozone layer is nearly gone and its about 250F in the sun. I wish I had time to come up with a really good wish.

Granted. But now time stands still for everyone else while you age at a more advanced pace.

Wish I had a turbo'd 3800 for my Ferrario.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

quote Originally posted by HIOSILVER!: I wish I had time to come up with a really good wish.

Granted. But, you are put in suspended animation and then launched into space, doomed to drift forever.

I wish ex-girlfriends didn't turn into horrible, heartless, drunks after you break up when they go off to college in a different state after you've dated for two and a half years.

quote Originally posted by RideZiLightning: Granted. But, you are put in suspended animation and then launched into space, doomed to drift forever. I wish ex-girlfriends didn't turn into horrible, heartless, drunks after you break up when they go off to college in a different state after you've dated for two and a half years.

Granted: But then they drop out of college, come back to visit, you end up working things out, and then end up becoming a Baby Daddy. Due to your sense of honor, you marry her, and end up living in a run down trailer with 3 Fieros up on blocks, a Camaro that smokes when you look at it funny, and 17 children, 15 of which you wonder if they are yours... You never had curly hair as a child.

I wish that the shirt this girl at work is wearing would go ahead and pop the top 3 buttons already. Lord knows it is too tight up there right now. (I can hear the buttons screaming for mercy.)

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted: But then they drop out of college, come back to visit, you end up working things out, and then end up becoming a Baby Daddy. Due to your sense of honor, you marry her, and end up living in a run down trailer with 3 Fieros up on blocks, a Camaro that smokes when you look at it funny, and 17 children, 15 of which you wonder if they are yours... You never had curly hair as a child. I wish that the shirt this girl at work is wearing would go ahead and pop the top 3 buttons already. Lord knows it is too tight up there right now. (I can hear the buttons screaming for mercy.)

Granted. But you have to post pics.

I wish the same thing Synthesis just wished for. lol

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted: But then they drop out of college, come back to visit, you end up working things out, and then end up becoming a Baby Daddy. Due to your sense of honor, you marry her, and end up living in a run down trailer with 3 Fieros up on blocks, a Camaro that smokes when you look at it funny, and 17 children, 15 of which you wonder if they are yours... You never had curly hair as a child.

Sadly enough, I think I'd be happier than I am now.

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: Granted. But you have to post pics. I wish the same thing Synthesis just wished for. lol

Granted, but the buttons pop you in the eyes blinding you forever. You don't see the boobies or ever get to drive your car again.

I wish I had a better job.

Jim

quote Originally posted by jimbolaya: I wish I had a better job.

Granted, but now you're expected to play golf weekly with your extremely competetive CEO... and compared to him, you're Tiger Woods.

I wish that inline comments and point form notes were sufficient documentation for management, and that I didn't have to spend most of today writing dumbed-down technical notes.

quote Originally posted by dguy: Granted, but now you're expected to play golf weekly with your extremely competetive CEO... and compared to him, you're Tiger Woods. I wish that inline comments and point form notes were sufficient documentation for management, and that I didn't have to spend most of today writing dumbed-down technical notes.

Granted. But now, instead of technical notes, you have to do a presentation with an Etch-a-sketch.

Wish I could get the prehung door I'm trying to install to sit correctly. =\

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 10-18-2007).]

quote Originally posted by dguy: Granted, but now you're expected to play golf weekly with your extremely competetive CEO... and compared to him, you're Tiger Woods. I wish that inline comments and point form notes were sufficient documentation for management, and that I didn't have to spend most of today writing dumbed-down technical notes.

Granted: But then someone on the Forum sues you for sexual harassment for using the term "prehung" which results in a huge scandal that the Media blows out of proportion because of a dealing that happened in a dark alley with Finally_Mine_86_GT who had his pants around his ankles, you, another strange man, a goat, and a midget in a clown suit. You get implicated in the proceedings, and everyone goes to prison for a long time, where you meet a man named Sue who sings a song to you about how bad his childhood was, and how it corrupted him. You become lovers and request that both of your death row executions take place at the same time in the same room.

I wish I did not feel the need to write lengthy wish grants that make little to no sense.

quote Originally posted by dguy: Granted, but now you're expected to play golf weekly with your extremely competetive CEO... and compared to him, you're Tiger Woods. I wish that inline comments and point form notes were sufficient documentation for management, and that I didn't have to spend most of today writing dumbed-down technical notes.

You're not very good at corrupting wishes. That doesn't sound so bad. Hmm let me see........throwing a golf match every week or getting yelled at by stupid customers. I'm thinking golf.

Jim

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted: But then someone on the Forum sues you for sexual harassment for using the term "prehung" which results in a huge scandal that the Media blows out of proportion because of a dealing that happened in a dark alley with Finally_Mine_86_GT who had his pants around his ankles, you, another strange man, a goat, and a midget in a clown suit. You get implicated in the proceedings, and everyone goes to prison for a long time, where you meet a man named Sue who sings a song to you about how bad his childhood was, and how it corrupted him. You become lovers and request that both of your death row executions take place at the same time in the same room. I wish I did not feel the need to write lengthy wish grants that make little to no sense.

Well now you're just being silly. ................There was no clown suit.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted: But then someone on the Forum sues you for sexual harassment for using the term "prehung" which results in a huge scandal that the Media blows out of proportion because of a dealing that happened in a dark alley with Finally_Mine_86_GT who had his pants around his ankles, you, another strange man, a goat, and a midget in a clown suit. You get implicated in the proceedings, and everyone goes to prison for a long time, where you meet a man named Sue who sings a song to you about how bad his childhood was, and how it corrupted him. You become lovers and request that both of your death row executions take place at the same time in the same room. I wish I did not feel the need to write lengthy wish grants that make little to no sense.

Now that is funny.

Wish granted. All your posts are now topical and poignant. However, you now completely lack a sense of humor.

I wish my Fiero had a longitudinal engine.

Granted..but it is a 4 hp lawnmower engine

I wish my coffee cup would fill itself (ugh, get's up and heads for the coffee room)

Granted, but you've lost the nerves that tell your brain that your bladder is full.

I wish that I had a long weekend this weekend.

[This message has been edited by AntiKev (edited 10-18-2007).]

Dang too slow.

[This message has been edited by HIOSILVER! (edited 10-18-2007).]

quote Originally posted by AntiKev: Granted, but you've lost the nerves that tell your brain that your bladder is full. I wish that I had a long weekend this weekend.

Granted: You get fired from your job and black listed at all of the businesses in your area.

I wish my GF would find a GF and bring her over for a weekend of fun. Oh wait, that already happens.

[This message has been edited by Synthesis (edited 10-18-2007).]

Granted. But your most hated in-laws decide to pay you a surprise visit.

Damn. Outta wishes.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario
'84 Indy

Granted but her GF is Tubgirl. (Sorry had to.) LOL
I wish I had a lamborghini

quote Originally posted by HIOSILVER!: Granted but her GF is Tubgirl. (Sorry had to.) LOL I wish I had a lamborghini

Granted: But when tubgirl finishes at my place, her and the Goatse guy deliver your lamborghini to you, with the usual mess inside, and the bodywork destroyed from launching it over speed bumps.

I wish I had never seen my parents naked. *shudder*

[This message has been edited by Synthesis (edited 10-18-2007).]

quote Originally posted by Synthesis: Granted: But when tubgirl finishes at my place, her and the Goatse guy deliver your lamborghini to you, with the usual mess inside, and the bodywork destroyed from launching it over speed bumps. I wish I had never seen my parents naked. *shudder*

Wish granted, and sorry, but even I'm not mean enough to corrupt that wish.

Jim

I wish Jim would wish for something.

quote Originally posted by BtotheB: I wish Jim would wish for something.

Granted:

quote Originally posted by jimbolaya: I wish I was cruel enough to corrupt Synthesis' wish.

[This message has been edited by Synthesis (edited 10-18-2007).]

Granted, but now the only corruption you can think of is a "yo momma" insult at the end of the granting.

I wish MY girlfriend would find a girlfriend and bring her over for some weekend "fun".

Granted. But the girlfriend she brings is a pregnant midget

I wish I had a klondike bar

granted, but the klondike bar also has you ooooooo its cold back there... lol.....
i wish i was not so bored....

quote Originally posted by tmur115: i wish i was not so bored....

Granted, but now you have absolutly NO holes!

I wish for total bliss.

[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 10-18-2007).]

Granted. But now I kill you

I wish for soulsss

[This message has been edited by RideZiLightning (edited 10-18-2007).]

quote Originally posted by RideZiLightning: Granted. But now I kill you I wish for soulsss

Granted, but they are the souls of gay men who refuse to do anything but talk to each other with a lisp.

I wish for total consciousness.

Granted but now that you have said souls you have an overwhelming urge to put on make-up and wear a dress out with the girls !

I wish for a second child with my wife

granted , healthy and happy but NEVER learns to sleep thru the night and only bothers YOU....added bonus 2nd child makes your wife denies you sex "cuz you wished for this"

i wish for my holes back (except being a ahole)

[This message has been edited by tmur115 (edited 10-18-2007).]