What do you do when people who you think are good friends say stuff as a joke.... but that small part of you thinks they said it for a reason.

I constantly have friends who do this, and im fed up at getting worked up over it...................

Trust your intuition. If you think they said it for a reason, they probably did. Ask them. If they're friends, it shouldn't be a big deal. Even if it's some major life issue, a friend should be able to talk to you about it. And even if they don't mean anything by it, if it's bugging you, a friend would want to know.

You have to give us an example..impossible to guess at it successfully For instance, some people might be aware that somebody has bad breath...but doesnīt want to come right out and say it..so they drop hints. Same goes for body odour. Most of us donīt recognise that we DO have a problem like that, because we are USED to our own 'smell', if you like!! Our house doesnīt smell at all unusual to US, because we live here..but we have a dog, and that was three until a while ago. We donīt register the 'doggie' smells like a visitor who is fresh to our house would...and they can smell the doggies because it is new to them..
Not saying these are the things being said!! Just trying to give you an example or two!!
Nick

well...That's....err...probably me...I do that a lot. I call it a "Half-joke"...I put things like that to tell them something without sounding like an ass...either that, or it's one of those "small things that I don't really care about, but might be good for a laugh" for instance, I might comment on a girl's boobs like "Damn, you're flat" but I don't really care or I might care, but not enough to not want to screw her...I mean, she might actually be flat-chested, but it looks good on her, and I like it better that way than if she were bigger...A little bit of truth, mixed with a heap of bs...

Did any of that make sense?

It all makes sence, its just not fun..... its funny you mention the smell thing... because that basically what it was.
Im not the best lookin guy, but the one thing i ALWAYS do is make sure i smell good, the only compliment i ever get is "you smell good"
Aim is by far the most evil thing ever invented, im greeted by a good friend (met in kindergarten) with "You smell"
She has said that i smell good like every time i see her, lol

Idk why this bugged me so much.
Its the one thing i can control, and to have someone say i fail at it anyways....... just hit me hard i guess =/

But i also took more of your advice and i did talk to her, she diddnt mean it =)))))
Thank goooooooddddddd

Why is it that the small things in life can hit you the hardest?

Nice!! Glad it has been sorted positively!! Good luck, and a Happy New Year, now you have it sorted and out the way!!!
Nick

quote Originally posted by Formula88: Trust your intuition.

quote Originally posted by JZeFF: .............Why is it that the small things in life can hit you the hardest?

Because when you are around "friends", it is casual and your guard is down,
so to speak. You are receptive to their comments because you feel you can trust
them. I think you get my drift.
Sometimes it is sarcastic and we miss it, and take it personally.
Maybe in this social setting she didn't want you to appear "close",
or just back off a little.

Or even maybe you had a cologne on they didn't like?
My wife and I used to make fun of the fragrances older women tend to like.
The flowery powdery ones that make you back up.

BTW, after a hard day at "welfare acres" here, I don't always smell like
cologne. My wife would tell me. At first I was miffed cause I thought she didn't
appreciate that my hard work pays her bills, but I found out that some women are
EXTREMELY sensitive to smells. I have heard that some of it may be to help
sense when their babies have a problem or to help keep the 'nest" clean.
Either way, I wouldn't worry.


PS I have seen some really sharp women out with "dogs", having something else
like character to offer. So if you aren't the local hunk, I wouldn't let it stop me from
being a gentleman. They notice.

[This message has been edited by TennT (edited 01-06-2008).]

something I've figured out already, about 10% of your friends are really your friends. if that...

quote Originally posted by JZeFF: What do you do when people who you think are good friends say stuff as a joke.... but that small part of you thinks they said it for a reason. I constantly have friends who do this, and im fed up at getting worked up over it...................

EIther you ask them to explain themselves, lump it, or move on and dump them.

best advice ever....walk soft but hit hard....is it worth it????

quote Originally posted by AJ7: something I've figured out already, about 10% of your friends are really your friends. if that...

One of those things you learn about life....