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By the Numbers by jstricker
Started on: 01-11-2007 08:02 PM
Replies: 7
Last post by: litespd on 01-12-2007 12:25 AM
jstricker
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Report this Post01-11-2007 08:02 PM Click Here to See the Profile for jstrickerClick Here to Email jstrickerSend a Private Message to jstrickerDirect Link to This Post
NEW YORK: A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

At a morning press conference, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales said he believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-gebra movement. He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

"Al-gebra is a problem for us," Gonzales said. "They desire solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in a search of absolute value. They use secret code names like 'x ' and 'y' and refer to themselves as 'unknowns', but we have determined they belong to a
common denominator of the axis of medieval with co-ordinates in every country. As the Greek philanderer Isosceles used to say: 'There are three sides to every triangle'."

When asked to comment on the arrest, President Bush said, "If God had wanted us to have better weapons of math instruction, He would have given us more fingers and toes."


I know, I know, you probably never thought you'd read something like this from me, but I can't help it, that's funny right there and I don't care who you are.



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zardoz
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Report this Post01-11-2007 08:30 PM Click Here to See the Profile for zardozSend a Private Message to zardozDirect Link to This Post
So there was two snakes, a male and female that wanted to make little snakes.

The snake couple did the deed again, and again, but Mrs. Snake would not conceive.

So the snakes asked God why they could not conceive a baby snake.

God said, "You cannot multiply, because you are adders" (wait there's more)

So the snakes were heartbroken, but kept on doing the deed anyway, because, well you know.

Finally, the snakes did it by some fallen trees, and Mrs. snake finally conceived a baby snake.

God saw this, and asked, "How did you multiply if you two are adders?"

The snakes replied, "We did it by logs!"
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Let the tomatoes fly!
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jstricker
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Report this Post01-11-2007 08:47 PM Click Here to See the Profile for jstrickerClick Here to Email jstrickerSend a Private Message to jstrickerDirect Link to This Post
OH GROOOAAAANNNNNN!

(But I'll admit I laughed, kind of like watching a funny car crash)



John Stricker
 
quote
Originally posted by zardoz:

So there was two snakes, a male and female that wanted to make little snakes.

The snake couple did the deed again, and again, but Mrs. Snake would not conceive.

So the snakes asked God why they could not conceive a baby snake.

God said, "You cannot multiply, because you are adders" (wait there's more)

So the snakes were heartbroken, but kept on doing the deed anyway, because, well you know.

Finally, the snakes did it by some fallen trees, and Mrs. snake finally conceived a baby snake.

God saw this, and asked, "How did you multiply if you two are adders?"

The snakes replied, "We did it by logs!"


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Wichita
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Report this Post01-11-2007 08:53 PM Click Here to See the Profile for WichitaClick Here to Email WichitaSend a Private Message to WichitaDirect Link to This Post
Good ones.

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NEPTUNE
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Report this Post01-11-2007 10:31 PM Click Here to See the Profile for NEPTUNESend a Private Message to NEPTUNEDirect Link to This Post
(double post)

[This message has been edited by NEPTUNE (edited 01-11-2007).]

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NEPTUNE
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Report this Post01-11-2007 10:33 PM Click Here to See the Profile for NEPTUNESend a Private Message to NEPTUNEDirect Link to This Post

NEPTUNE

10199 posts
Member since Aug 2001
 
quote
Originally posted by jstricker:

NEW YORK: A public school teacher was arrested today at John F. Kennedy International Airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a set square, a slide rule and a calculator.

J. Stricker


That was very perceptive of the TSA official to notice the evil teachers sly drool.
Thats not profiling, just fast thinking.

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Raydar
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Report this Post01-11-2007 10:33 PM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarDirect Link to This Post


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litespd
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Report this Post01-12-2007 12:25 AM Click Here to See the Profile for litespdSend a Private Message to litespdDirect Link to This Post
Algebra...bleh.....

Only class I ever got a "D" in...
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