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Sentences that have never been spoken before.... by Scott-Wa
Started on: 11-12-2006 07:29 PM
Replies: 49
Last post by: Boondawg on 11-14-2006 12:25 PM
Scott-Wa
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Report this Post11-12-2006 07:29 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Scott-WaClick Here to visit Scott-Wa's HomePageSend a Private Message to Scott-WaDirect Link to This Post
I just crack up looking at this line and the thought struck me... I don't believe ANYONE EVER has said these words in this combination before.

"How it ended up in my bathroom wasn't really important. what WAS important, was that there I was, with a razor, a full can of shaving cream, and a dazed penguin."-Fierorumor

I think I remember a comedian having a skit with a horse in it that produced some sort of similar statement.

Anyone have a similar statement that more than likely hasn't ever been made before in the history of man?

Not meaning to pick on you Fierorumor, but that makes me laugh every time I read it.
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Report this Post11-12-2006 07:38 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
How I got there, I'm not sure. All I know is that I woke up in a kiddie pool full of jello, next to a George Forman grille and chinchillas were hoping all over me. All of this was being recorded by a webcam for some reason.

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Report this Post11-12-2006 07:54 PM Click Here to See the Profile for XanthSend a Private Message to XanthDirect Link to This Post
I wish I did, cause I would, but i don't, so I wont.
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Phranc
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:17 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PhrancSend a Private Message to PhrancDirect Link to This Post
He did what to that poor penquin, Is that even legal?
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Finally_Mine_86_GT
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:22 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Finally_Mine_86_GTSend a Private Message to Finally_Mine_86_GTDirect Link to This Post
yeah i got one... i asked my friend mags to make me a transmission bracket from the one i broke and his reply was... "give me a lawn chair, a tampon, some duct tape and a pink hat... and i'll make you whatever you want!" maybe i'm dumb but i was affraid to ask why those items.
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:23 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
Mags? Full name Magsgyver?

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Finally_Mine_86_GT
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:25 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Finally_Mine_86_GTSend a Private Message to Finally_Mine_86_GTDirect Link to This Post
na... almost though... magliocca... last name.
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FieroRumor
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:25 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroRumorClick Here to visit FieroRumor's HomePageSend a Private Message to FieroRumorDirect Link to This Post
[QUOTE]Originally posted by Scott-Wa:
QUOTE]

That penguin line is going to keep me from getting elected someday, I just KNOW it...

I remember some comedian doing a skit about "Sentences that have never been spoken before...."... it was pretty funny. Said a few lines that were just totally absurd.


"Last Tuesday, the pope donated one of his kidneys to me after I woke up, naked, in a vat of ice water and turpentine."

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whadeduck
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:28 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
"I have said this before, and I'll say it again. I did not have sex with that penguin........Chilly Willy." LMAO

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Finally_Mine_86_GT
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:30 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Finally_Mine_86_GTSend a Private Message to Finally_Mine_86_GTDirect Link to This Post
lmao... nice.
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TorqueWench
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:30 PM Click Here to See the Profile for TorqueWenchSend a Private Message to TorqueWenchDirect Link to This Post
"His thoughts tumbled in his head - making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without ClingFree..."

-from an annual comedic collection of analogies from high school essays

and i still want that penguin...
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:36 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
[B]
and i still want that penguin...


Pour vous ou Morty? lol

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Finally_Mine_86_GT
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Report this Post11-12-2006 08:37 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Finally_Mine_86_GTSend a Private Message to Finally_Mine_86_GTDirect Link to This Post
sorry got to do it... "There once stood a lone bottle of beer. And it said to the platypus, "How doth thine wires of glory make me sweat!". The platypus smirked. Orange juice rained from the sky. It was a delicious day after all." Falcon4
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:00 PM Click Here to See the Profile for madcurlSend a Private Message to madcurlDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Falcon4:
"This twit did a lot more than that - he probably told others, added a nice flavoring of "Gay Pride" to the whole message, threw it around, watched it pick up momentum among the literal cocksuckers, and enjoyed the hell out of watching ."

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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:00 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierobearSend a Private Message to fierobearDirect Link to This Post
I'm having a pretty good day. Now if I can just keep the weasles out of my trousers...
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:04 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FormulaSend a Private Message to FormulaDirect Link to This Post
Fourteen score, 3 days, and 2 hours ago, A giant lice ate an alligator while doing the jig!
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:08 PM Click Here to See the Profile for F-I-E-R-OSend a Private Message to F-I-E-R-ODirect Link to This Post
Before twice up top a clock, a high imaginary recount of something unbelievable was unable to be told.

[This message has been edited by F-I-E-R-O (edited 11-12-2006).]

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aceman
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:23 PM Click Here to See the Profile for acemanSend a Private Message to acemanDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by F-I-E-R-O:

Before twice up top a clock, a high imaginary recount of something unbelievable was unable to be told.



Ehhh, that was a headline from the 2000 Presidential election. Who are you trying to fool?
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FieroRumor
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:30 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroRumorClick Here to visit FieroRumor's HomePageSend a Private Message to FieroRumorDirect Link to This Post
And FieroRumor saw there was much sadness in the world. He realized that wrapping bacon around life's problems didn't cure the wounds underneath. and so, he created AugWorld,a place where people could go and "push the positive"... The Augmented world grew slowly, but soon, as word spread, (like butter on a warm bagel) more and more flatforms were created, and eventually...

[This message has been edited by FieroRumor (edited 11-12-2006).]

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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:33 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Falcon4Click Here to visit Falcon4's HomePageSend a Private Message to Falcon4Direct Link to This Post
This topic is a godsent. The discussion in the "gay landscaping" topic has gotten so pointless, well... I added to the pointlessness. Muahaha.

Thanks to Chef Brian for the inspiration.

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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:46 PM Click Here to See the Profile for F-I-E-R-OSend a Private Message to F-I-E-R-ODirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by aceman:

Ehhh, that was a headline from the 2000 Presidential election. Who are you trying to fool?


Damn you and your research!
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:50 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Falcon4Click Here to visit Falcon4's HomePageSend a Private Message to Falcon4Direct Link to This Post
You mean the 2000 Presidential Circus?
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Report this Post11-12-2006 09:53 PM Click Here to See the Profile for cliffwSend a Private Message to cliffwDirect Link to This Post
"That depends on what the definition of is is".
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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:20 PM Click Here to See the Profile for AusFieroClick Here to visit AusFiero's HomePageSend a Private Message to AusFieroDirect Link to This Post
I might just whip down the frog and toad to the rub a dub dub, to get away from the trouble and strife and partake in a refreshing stubbie, before she catches me and goes berko.
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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:20 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Finally_Mine_86_GTSend a Private Message to Finally_Mine_86_GTDirect Link to This Post
aw baby that wart on your a$$ is so beautiful... i just want to lick it... please?

"my stomach is turning but i had to type it.
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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:32 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroRumorClick Here to visit FieroRumor's HomePageSend a Private Message to FieroRumorDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Finally_Mine_86_GT:

aw baby that wart on your a$$ is so beautiful... i just want to lick it... please?




Maybe it has never been TYPED, but I'm pretty sure it's been said before... Rumor has it a giant lice said this to an an alligator just before he ate her...

[This message has been edited by FieroRumor (edited 11-12-2006).]

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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:37 PM Click Here to See the Profile for lurkerSend a Private Message to lurkerDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by FieroRumor:
Maybe it has never been TYPED, but I'm pretty sure it's been said before... Rumor has it a giant lice said this to an an alligator just before he ate her...

is that what the lice toad the gator?
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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:39 PM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroRumorClick Here to visit FieroRumor's HomePageSend a Private Message to FieroRumorDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by lurker:

is that what the lice toad the gator?


Not sure. Alaska.
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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:46 PM Click Here to See the Profile for TorqueWenchSend a Private Message to TorqueWenchDirect Link to This Post
maybe you just otter.
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Report this Post11-12-2006 10:52 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
Some are otter than udders. But if a chicken and a half laid an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick all of the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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Report this Post11-12-2006 11:48 PM Click Here to See the Profile for NEPTUNESend a Private Message to NEPTUNEDirect Link to This Post
OK, When a snake starts falling in love with the spaghetti,
its time to buy a new hat.
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Report this Post11-13-2006 01:26 AM Click Here to See the Profile for ryan.hessSend a Private Message to ryan.hessDirect Link to This Post
Wow, I have never seen anything go THAT wrong, THAT fast.... it's like the penguin was telekinetic.... did you SEE that cucumber?
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Report this Post11-13-2006 01:36 AM Click Here to See the Profile for DtheCSend a Private Message to DtheCDirect Link to This Post
x2 post?
Had that one going a while.

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Report this Post11-13-2006 03:07 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierobearSend a Private Message to fierobearDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by AusFiero:

I might just whip down the frog and toad to the rub a dub dub, to get away from the trouble and strife and partake in a refreshing stubbie, before she catches me and goes berko.


Aw, c'mon Aus. You're just talking regular Australian.

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Report this Post11-13-2006 07:47 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fierohohoSend a Private Message to fierohohoDirect Link to This Post
Old grey comedian named George Carlin had a bit about things you'll never hear people say.

The ones I remember are:

"Hand me that piano"

"Please saw my legs off"

"Do what you want to the girl but leave me alone"

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Report this Post11-13-2006 08:31 AM Click Here to See the Profile for F-I-E-R-OSend a Private Message to F-I-E-R-ODirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by AusFiero:

I might just whip down the frog and toad to the rub a dub dub, to get away from the trouble and strife and partake in a refreshing stubbie, before she catches me and goes berko.


Actually, this is a very common phrase down south here in the states...
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Report this Post11-13-2006 12:03 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 8BallSend a Private Message to 8BallDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Scott-Wa:

I think I remember a comedian having a skit with a horse in it that produced some sort of similar statement.



 
quote
Originall said by Lewis Black:

Had it not been for my horse, I would have never made it thru college.
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Report this Post11-13-2006 01:10 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
Love Lewis Black. He can always make milk shoot out of my nose. He made that statement and then said that it was at that moment he realized what an aneurism felt like. lol

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Report this Post11-13-2006 01:59 PM Click Here to See the Profile for BoondawgSend a Private Message to BoondawgDirect Link to This Post
This whole thread reminds me of Hunter S. Thompson's book, "Fear & Loathing In Las Vagas".

On a personal note, once while tripping, I went into a lenghty & very scientific explanation of why wet wood won't burn, which ended in tears.
It would have been very poinant if there had been anyone else there.

[This message has been edited by Boondawg (edited 11-13-2006).]

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Report this Post11-13-2006 02:24 PM Click Here to See the Profile for whadeduckSend a Private Message to whadeduckDirect Link to This Post
And as the sun set for the fifth time that day, the dandelions danced in the treetops. "I heard a shot." said the deaf man. "I saw him run that way." said the blind man. "We voted for Bush." said the Dixie Chicks. Oh, c'mon. It was kinda funny.

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