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Limericks by Vonov
Started on: 09-26-2006 07:34 PM
Replies: 19
Last post by: Vonov on 09-28-2006 12:51 AM
Vonov
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Report this Post09-26-2006 07:34 PM Click Here to See the Profile for VonovClick Here to Email VonovSend a Private Message to VonovDirect Link to This Post
I'll start...my personal favorite:

There once was a lady from Niger <---------------------(rhymes with 'tiger, contrary to graffiti you may have read!)
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile
On the face
Of the tiger...

And one from the Clinton era:

Lewinsky and Clinton have shown,
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
As a choice of how to be blown...
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fierofetish
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Report this Post09-26-2006 10:09 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierofetishClick Here to Email fierofetishSend a Private Message to fierofetishDirect Link to This Post
There was a young man came from Kent
whose willie was exceedingly bent
To save himself trouble
He stuck it in double
And instead of coming..he went
-----------------------------------------------
There was a young lady from Devises
Whose breasts were of two different sizes
One was so small
it was no use at all
But the other was HUGE..and won prizes.

[This message has been edited by fierofetish (edited 09-26-2006).]

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sostock
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Report this Post09-26-2006 10:12 PM Click Here to See the Profile for sostockSend a Private Message to sostockDirect Link to This Post
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost
She's slippin through his fingers as she's movin' out to the coast
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost

word...!
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Phranc
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Report this Post09-26-2006 10:19 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PhrancClick Here to Email PhrancSend a Private Message to PhrancDirect Link to This Post
Alyson was a cute dame
her beauty could drive men insane
when it comes to eating
there is no competing
and chubs is now her new name

She was sort and plump
with a round soft rump
if ever you saw her
you'd shout hoot and holler
your sexy but Jersy's a dump

In the north where it snows
the most beautiful thing grows
a lady of beauty
an absolute cutie
from her head to her toes
edit to add I have alot more but they are of the proper dirty limerick kind.

[This message has been edited by Phranc (edited 09-26-2006).]

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84fierotrevor
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Report this Post09-26-2006 10:22 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 84fierotrevorClick Here to Email 84fierotrevorSend a Private Message to 84fierotrevorDirect Link to This Post
iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Had a little monkey! sent him to the country!!! fed him on on ginger bread!!!!!
along came a choo! choo!! and knocked him koo!! koo!! now my little monkeys dead!!!
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Raydar
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Report this Post09-26-2006 10:51 PM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarDirect Link to This Post
I have a feeling that this thread is going to go downhill really quickly.
...and I'm here to help.

There once was a lady from Exeter,
Was so beautiful, men craned their necks at 'er.
And one was so brave
As to take out and wave
The distinguishing mark of his sex at 'er.

--------------------------------------------------------------

There once was a maid from Madras
Who had a magnificent ass
Not rounded and pink
As you probably think
It was gray, had long ears, and ate grass.

---------------------------------------------------------------

A fairy who lived in Khartoum
Took a lesbian up to his room
They argued all night
Over who had the right
To do what, and with which, and to whom.
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NEPTUNE
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Report this Post09-26-2006 11:18 PM Click Here to See the Profile for NEPTUNESend a Private Message to NEPTUNEDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Raydar:

I have a feeling that this thread is going to go downhill really quickly.
...and I'm here to help.


http://www.atruscorp.com/images/upload_4519eb955da76.gif


Best thing I've seen here in a while. Thanks!
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Vonov
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Report this Post09-27-2006 07:42 PM Click Here to See the Profile for VonovClick Here to Email VonovSend a Private Message to VonovDirect Link to This Post
<<<<<Applause>>>>> Outstanding, Raydar!!! LMBO!!
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Raydar
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Report this Post09-27-2006 08:03 PM Click Here to See the Profile for RaydarClick Here to Email RaydarSend a Private Message to RaydarDirect Link to This Post
<blush> Thanks!

Nobody else knows any limericks?!

[This message has been edited by Raydar (edited 09-27-2006).]

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Phranc
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Report this Post09-27-2006 08:11 PM Click Here to See the Profile for PhrancClick Here to Email PhrancSend a Private Message to PhrancDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by Raydar:

<blush> Thanks!

Nobody else knows any limericks?!



I have about 40 of them all original but not forum safe. I'll come up with some more that are PFF friendly.
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fierofetish
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Report this Post09-27-2006 08:49 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fierofetishClick Here to Email fierofetishSend a Private Message to fierofetishDirect Link to This Post
There was a young man from Dajeeling,
who boarded a bus bound for Ealing
He saw on the door
'don't spit on the floor',
so he stood up and spat on the ceiling.

Old Mother Hubbard
went to the cupboard, to fetch for her dog a bone
When she got there
the cupboard was bare
So the dog gave her a bone of his own.

There were two young N*ns came from Brandon
who went for a ride on a tandem
As they rode through the streets
they'd removed both the seats
So their Mother Superior banned 'em!

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JohnnyK
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Report this Post09-27-2006 09:05 PM Click Here to See the Profile for JohnnyKClick Here to Email JohnnyKSend a Private Message to JohnnyKDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by sostock:

He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost
She's slippin through his fingers as she's movin' out to the coast
He thrusts his fists against the post and still insists he sees a ghost

word...!


Thats not a limerick. That helped Bill beat his stutter so he could destroy evil.
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rpro
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Report this Post09-27-2006 10:15 PM Click Here to See the Profile for rproClick Here to Email rproSend a Private Message to rproDirect Link to This Post
There once was a girl from Couquille,
Who's crotch was made of blue steel,
She got all her thrills from a pneumatic drill,
and an off center emery wheel.
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fogglethorpe
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Report this Post09-27-2006 10:23 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fogglethorpeSend a Private Message to fogglethorpeDirect Link to This Post
There was a man one afternoon
Who farted and filled a balloon
It floated so high
It went up to the sky
And stunk out the man in the moon
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fogglethorpe
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Report this Post09-27-2006 10:26 PM Click Here to See the Profile for fogglethorpeSend a Private Message to fogglethorpeDirect Link to This Post

fogglethorpe

4827 posts
Member since Jul 2001
There once was a man from New Joisey
Who's neighbors were excessively noisy
So he packed up his taters
And said "See ya later"
And caught the next airplane to Boise
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sostock
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Report this Post09-27-2006 10:34 PM Click Here to See the Profile for sostockSend a Private Message to sostockDirect Link to This Post
There once was a Fiero named Sostock
It had dreams of being a V8 choptop
The wife said no way
Much to my dismay
So Sotock it remains to this day!

...word.
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$Rich$
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Report this Post09-27-2006 10:49 PM Click Here to See the Profile for $Rich$Click Here to Email $Rich$Send a Private Message to $Rich$Direct Link to This Post
there once was a man from Nantucket
who's D!ck was so long he could suck it
he said with a grin, as he wiped off his chin
if his ear had lips he woud F#^k it


the last line dosent sound right but its been years since ive even thought about that saying
------------------

AIM:Onefast2M8
02 Jetta 1.8t
98 GTI 2.slow
02 CBR 954RR

[This message has been edited by $Rich$ (edited 09-27-2006).]

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pHoOl
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Report this Post09-27-2006 10:56 PM Click Here to See the Profile for pHoOlClick Here to visit pHoOl's HomePageClick Here to Email pHoOlSend a Private Message to pHoOlDirect Link to This Post
There once was a man from Nantucket....


Lol... we posted same time.

And the line goes "if my ear were a p***y I'd f*** it"

[This message has been edited by pHoOl (edited 09-27-2006).]

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loafer87gt
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Report this Post09-28-2006 12:28 AM Click Here to See the Profile for loafer87gtSend a Private Message to loafer87gtDirect Link to This Post
Dare I break into a verse from the North Atlantic squadron?
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Vonov
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Report this Post09-28-2006 12:51 AM Click Here to See the Profile for VonovClick Here to Email VonovSend a Private Message to VonovDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by loafer87gt:

Dare I break into a verse from the North Atlantic squadron?


No guts, no glory...
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