I think I am jumping to conclusions and all but that happens sometimes. Sorry for the meaningless thread to you guys but I just want some opinions cause, well, I don't know.

So I am trying to figure out what's going on with a few things and I need a guys perspective on somethings.....

So here's the story: This guy whom I am in love with has been acting strange lately. He used to talk to me ALL the time and now....well, he barely even talks to me now. He says he loves me and everything and I believe him. But the way he's been acting and what's happened before with him and some other girl....well I don't know what to think. I think I might be jumping to conclusions but it just seems REALLY weird in my eyes. He hangs out with his ex and everything and knows I don't really like it but obviously I have to put up with it =/ Cause he hangs out with her anyways and everything.

I don't know...like I said I'm probably just jumping to conclusions...and of course there is more to the story but I don't really have the time right now.

Thanks.

It's over! It's time to move on.

Don't get stuck being the raining day girl, phuck friend, rebound woman or any other catagory from this guy.

what makes you respond like that? Does it sound like he's up to something? J/W since I am trying to figure things out you know =/

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: what makes you respond like that? Does it sound like he's up to something? J/W since I am trying to figure things out you know =/

are you dating? if so talk to him about it, find out if there is anything going on and show him that you dont like what he's doing, and if things dont change, then leave.. basicly you need to be talking to him about it! hope that helps some...

We aren't dating yet because of some things. But I would talk to him about it but I haven't even talked to him at all today and yesterday I talked to him for a whole 5 min and that was it. =/

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: We aren't dating yet because of some things. But I would talk to him about it but I haven't even talked to him at all today and yesterday I talked to him for a whole 5 min and that was it. =/

well i guess you need to talk to him then..

I wish I could. It would be easier if he answered his phone! Then I could talk to him you know? But he doesn't even bother and when he doesn't talk to me at all he's either mad at me or what happened last time a LONG time ago he ended up getting a g/f and not even talking to me for a whole month. I didn't know he had a g/f till he told me a month later after he didn't talk to me =/

I wish I could just solve this problem and have it done and over with =/

Does sound like he's involved himself with someone. If he is and that's the way he treats a friend, I suggest moving on. Easier said than done I know, but the whole "only-recognize-you-actually-exist-when-I'm-not-seeing-anyone-else" kind of thing isn't fair to you. Find out for sure first. By the way, welcome to the forum.

------------------
Whade' "The Duck Formerly Known As Wade" Duck
'87 GT Auto
'88 Ferrario

[This message has been edited by whadeduck (edited 08-23-2006).]

I SO hope he's not involved with another girl....I would be devastated =/

Well that was the only chick that he did that to me because of some stuff that happened between them and all....idk how to explain it. But ya, other than that chick he would talk to me no problem.

quote Originally posted by whadeduck: By the way, welcome to the forum.

Oh and thanks! =)

I should say Welcome to the Forum also!

I didn't know you were a newbie until I saw your post count.

------------------

You need to make your intentions known. If he’s not giving you that opportunity and is avoiding you he may not want to get involved. If he’s not already involved then he is just scared of you or he doesn’t want a girl friend

Like I said before it would be easier for me to let him know what I think if I could actually get ahold of him =/ I talked to him for like 5-10 min today didn't really get to say much to him cause of things and he's gunna b busy today and I gotta work! Why can't things just be simple? It never is simple and it sucks =/

A relationship is based on comunication.

If you ain't getting the comunication you require, then there's no basis for the kind relationship you desire.

Explain that to him.
If things don't change, move on.

Sorry.

Hell of a welcome from me, huh!

That's alright. I just want to see what other people think about the whole situation and all. He not much of the "talker" about things. That's just how he is about it with VERYONE and I hate the fact that he is the way he is about talking about things but everyonce in a while I can get it so he will talk about it, that's if it's a really big problem you know but if it's something little he says to just drop it and all. Not exactly say just drop it you know he just steers towards something else. He's a great guy and I love him to death but I just wish he would understand that communication in a relationship is the key thing you know. He'll realize it sooner or later and hopefully sooner. =/

Give him the maybe we should see other people talk. You'll know by his reaction exactly how he feels.

Mmmm..may I ask how old the both of you are?
Nick

------------------
fierofetish.PFF'S self-confessed Snowbird!!

Growing old is harder than growing up.
Responsibility: the solution for our World's Dilemmas..
Yahoo messenger:nickcannspain
MSN Messenger-nicholascann@hotmail.com

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: He not much of the "talker" about things.

If communication is important to you, in a relationship, seek someone who feels the same way.
You will be happier, and your relationship will be healthier.

I learned something a long time ago. I realized that people fundamentally aren't all *that* much different. There are certain things that are pretty consistent. One of those things being, that people treat you in a way you would expect them to, based on the way they feel about you. Meaning, if he really gave a crap about you, he wouldn't blow you off or be unwilling to talk to you or see you. My guess is, you already KNOW the score, you just don't want to admit it. It's not easy admitting that someone you care about may not feel the same way. Been there, done that, have the teeshirt to prove it. But at some point you have to be strong enough (and smart enough) to say "y'know, this just ain't gettin' it for me any more." And make your own choices that have nothing to do with the other person.
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but I think you probably need to wake up and smell the coffee.

Ya so things are over =( Me and him talked today and well I found out a few things that, well, I didn't like. Such as the fact that he says it shouldn't be because of some things and then I asked him a question and found out that he had sex with another girl about a month ago and she might be pregnant now! I am ferious right now! It's amazing what you find out when you ask the right questions =/ I don't see how he could have done that to me when he said he loved me and he cared about me....well if he did then why did he do that? If you care about someone or love someone SO much you wouldn't end up going and having sex with some other girl! I mean what the hell? What kind of person would do that, seriously!? I don't know.....I don't know what to do anymore =/ Thanks everyone who replied to this.....

He's a guy, we tend to just run out of things to say.
But in light of the new info, losing him is the best way to go.

[This message has been edited by AusFiero (edited 08-27-2006).]

Dating and relationships are overrated. I've been alone my entire life (including 3 failed marriages) and I haven't killed myself yet. Get on with being single and try to enjoy it (then let me know the secret).

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: I think I am jumping to conclusions and all but that happens sometimes. Sorry for the meaningless thread to you guys but I just want some opinions cause, well, I don't know.

Yes, you do know but you just cant bear the though of it.

quote So I am trying to figure out what's going on with a few things and I need a guys perspective on somethings.....

Perspective is realitive and as we all know where there is a will there is a realitive. But seriously why over analyze the current situation when you know the end result is the same?

quote So here's the story: This guy whom I am in love with has been acting strange lately. He used to talk to me ALL the time and now....well, he barely even talks to me now. He says he loves me and everything and I believe him. But the way he's been acting and what's happened before with him and some other girl....well I don't know what to think. I think I might be jumping to conclusions but it just seems REALLY weird in my eyes. He hangs out with his ex and everything and knows I don't really like it but obviously I have to put up with it =/ Cause he hangs out with her anyways and everything. I don't know...like I said I'm probably just jumping to conclusions...and of course there is more to the story but I don't really have the time right now. Thanks.

Probably jumping to conclusions? Maybe so.. I mean I'm not the one who can answer that question but I can answer this one if you like. "If you don't trust your own gut feelings then who can you trust?" A young stud man hanging out with is "ex" girlfriend? Teeehehhe yeah.. I'd love you too.. Seriously!!

Have you guys been, uh, intimate? And if so, did he say he loved you and cared about you before, after, or both? Sounds like he loves and cares more about himself...I'd also say you're a stand-in, backup, spare, etc...
There are a lot of fish in the sea, and this one smells like three-week-old tuna.

"Love" is a man-made emotion..a human concept.Hormones are a natural stimulant, designed to make young males become aroused by visual, aural and olifactory stimulation.Simply to promote reproduction of the species. During adolescence and early adulthood (and longer, depending on the person involved),hormones are designed to be the most powerful, over-riding driving force.If an opportunity to procreate arises ( ), the powerful hormonal reaction can, and often does, overcome any form of influence the man-made concepts might try to impose.In other words, when the hormones are raging, love often goes out the window.If you want to blame anybody, blame THE females who use sex as a weapon, and a bargaining tool.Or are just plain morally bankrupt.It used to be mainly young men who carved notches on the bedpost...now women do it too
These are the reasons many sages believe it best to wait until the hormonal drive subsides somewhat, before giving way emotional commitment. In other words, don't give it away, until you are as sure as possible the commitment is strong enough to overcome the natural urges caused by nature...or the man involved is commited enough to ignore nature, to preserve a relationship.If you can't fit the bill as an adult, don't try to play the game...it hurts!!
Nick

------------------
fierofetish.PFF'S self-confessed Snowbird!!

Growing old is harder than growing up.
Responsibility: the solution for our World's Dilemmas..
Yahoo messenger:nickcannspain
MSN Messenger-nicholascann@hotmail.com

quote Originally posted by Vonov: Have you guys been, uh, intimate? And if so, did he say he loved you and cared about you before, after, or both? Sounds like he loves and cares more about himself...I'd also say you're a stand-in, backup, spare, etc... There are a lot of fish in the sea, and this one smells like three-week-old tuna.

To answer your question...yes we were. And the thing is, is that I lost my virginity to him =( He said he loved and cared about me before and after. I believed him cause we were really close for a long time before any of that happened. And I got to know him and he told me he hated liers and all so when he would tell me those things I believed him. I'm the person who's not gunna give it up to ANYONE, I was gunna wait even longer to lose it but then I met him and I got to know him and everything. When we were talking I asked him if he really cared about me or if he really loved me and he said ya....I told him it was hard to believe because he went off and had sex with another girl and didn't even think about me before he did it. If you really love someone or care about someone so much you would DEFINATELY think about them in a situation like that, well he didn't till afterwards I guess. Great guy huh? I thought I had found the most amazing guy ever and all but things started to get weird and I started thinking what's going on? And finally we got to sat down and talk to each other and I found out everything....but there might be more =/ I don't know. I was the one who had to ask him about her...I don't think he was even gunna tell me last night. Good thing I asked or else I just would have thought everything was ok because he just didn't think it was right, the whole me and him because of a LONG story. I would've thought everything was just ok, but thank GOD I asked him =/

Thank you everyone for your input and all.

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: I would've thought everything was just ok, but thank GOD I asked him =/

Well, don't count on guys between the ages of 20 and late 30's being Mr. "Open and Honest." The only honest and open person walking the face of this god forsaken planet is Y O U.
If you can accept the fact that he is telling you what you want to hear so he can keep tapping it and everything else he comes into contact with then thats cool, go with it. Just don't deny it. Trust your gut. If it feels bad... It's bad... Theres no need to go around trying to figure out why because you are just wasting your time and believe me.. You WILL make yourself miserable in the process.

Love isn't an act, it's a never ending process.
If you "feel" the early stages of the process are a bit weak, you had better scrap that plan and start looking for another. You can't build anything on a weak foundation and expect it to last. And for god sakes DON'T THINK "I can fix it." and just patch things over... It aint gunna happen honey because all you are doing is hiding the ugly truth from yourself.

quote Originally posted by fierofetish: Mmmm..may I ask how old the both of you are?

I'm still wondering as well.

Everyone's in such a rush to grow up. (My girlfriend's nine year old daughter has already tried shaving her legs!)

When we actually do grow up (and face a million responsibilities and aches and pains), we wish we were kids again.

Sucks to get used like that, but it's life... not fair.

I read the first couple of your posts in this thread thinking, young and needy. Suspected you were either stalking the guy or just expecting way to much out of a first relationship, especially with you stating he wasn't actually your boyfriend. Needing that constant contact strikes me as either lacking trust (justified) and/or being a bit to needy... people need space. Since you weren't boyfriend/girlfriend, who he has sex with isn't any of your business... except you slept with him also. Protected or unprotected?

Since he sleeps around and now may have another girl pregnant, you may have dodged a bullet. If you weren't practicing safe sex, get to a clinic. It doesn't appear he worries to much about protection, I think you should get checked out in case he gave you any presents you might not know about.

Morale, live and learn. Don't let the experience crush you, it was more to you than him... find someone that you connect with on an equal level next time. Your life doesn't depend on having a boyfriend, just be good to yourself and others and the right person will show up.

On the curiousity level, who initiated the idea of having sex? Was it something you had been thinking of and wanted or did he just go for it and you let him?

quote Originally posted by Scott-Wa: On the curiousity level, who initiated the idea of having sex? Was it something you had been thinking of and wanted or did he just go for it and you let him?

No he didn't just go for it and I let him. Hell f ****** no! I would have just left him right then and there. All guys want it and I knew he wanted it cause he asked me about it and I told him what I thought about it and all and so he dropped it. Then after a long time I decided that we should and all cause of everything between me and him, and trust me it was protected. I don't want to get knocked up or anything like that.

O and 84Bill thanks cause he is 20 and I guess from what you said those guys aren't mister open and honest kind of deal

It would be interesting to see his face when he reads this because he probably has and doesn't know that I made this name and all. He's a member on here....interesting huh

[This message has been edited by Ithappens (edited 08-27-2006).]

is he on this forum?
i ask because you have 10 posts and there all in this thread
seems like you joined because maybe he hangs out here???

ha, i just read your last post
so who is he?

[This message has been edited by $Rich$ (edited 08-27-2006).]

Well! Car forums are a big sausage fest, so maybe she wanted to get a guys perspective on the whole issue.

But I'm with your theory that said dude is active on this forum.

Ithappens! Practically all of us has experience heart breaks, regardless if we are men and women. The feeling sucks and it takes awhile before it fades away, but it will, and there will be somebody else that will replace your lost heart and once you have found the "one", it will be sweet and you will never really even think about this guy who just broke your heart again.

But if your under the age of 18 or even 20, and don't takes this the wrong way that I'm attacking our maturity level, but trust me, there is a lot of growing up still left to do.

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: . All guys want it and I knew he wanted it cause he asked me about it and I told him what I thought about it and all and so he dropped it.

Actually, no--all guys DONT want it, and in fact some guys would rather jerk off than come within 10 feet of some women.

That thing between your legs is nothing special. 50% of the human race has one. It dont make you special. get used to the fact.

Stimpy is that you
Move on its not worth it.

LOL
No problem. Just hope it helps.

Judging by my ratings bar he doesn't read OT all that much or just hasn't ventured into this thread. I'm not the smartest man walking the earth but if I can put two and two together I have no doubt he can too.


I saw this on a sign the other day..

"Opportunity knocks once
Temptation keeps knocking."

I couldn't help but wonder what happens when temptation and opportunity come knocking at the same time.. Big Pimpin..

You are under the hormonal love spell too, enjoy it while it lasts because when its over it automatically gets serious. Just "be real", have fun and don't get all serious just yet. You've got atleast 15 years of "Ohh hell yeah baby!" followed by about 40 of "Oh hell no you didn't you sum bioch!!" so don't cut short the 15 and add it to the 40.

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: O and 84Bill thanks cause he is 20 and I guess from what you said those guys aren't mister open and honest kind of deal It would be interesting to see his face when he reads this because he probably has and doesn't know that I made this name and all. He's a member on here....interesting huh

quote Originally posted by Wichita: Well! Car forums are a big sausage fest, so maybe she wanted to get a guys perspective on the whole issue.

Taha ha ha, that is funny but oh so true. Ya I did decide to start here because there are a lot of guys here and everyone responds to everything in a different way. I was always on here even before I decided to start a name on here. I'm interested in a lot of things and mind I tell ya...I LOVE cars like no other.

quote Originally posted by Jake_Dragon: Stimpy is that you

If that was towards me.....no it's not. I'm guessing you have a name on Real Fiero Tech....I do too.

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: ...he is 20

Hmmm... I notice a certain reluctance for Ithappens to state her own age. I’m guessing maybe 15 or so...

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: If that was towards me.....no it's not. I'm guessing you have a name on Real Fiero Tech....I do too.

I was just joking, I dont post over there. I did create a user name but I changed the e-mail and then changed the password so there is no way for me to even log on to the board, I was going to address some of the **** they started before the name change but there was no point. I can see why you posted here and not over there I dont think you would have got the same responce.
Just tell him the truth, he wasnt that good, it dosent happen to everyone and the doctor should have the test results back by friday.

quote Originally posted by Patrick: Hmmm... I notice a certain reluctance for Ithappens to state her own age. I’m guessing maybe 15 or so...

Close....I'm 16 almost 17(in 2 months exactly), if you really want to know. You happy now? I didn't think that I really needed to state what my age was and all but I guess people have to judge on what age the person is and all. I don't think age is a difference on certain things..... but o well everyone has their own opinion

quote Originally posted by Ithappens: I don't think age is a difference on certain things..... but o well everyone has their own opinion.

Yep, and your opinion on that will change as you get older.