A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walks into WalMart with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The WalMart Greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to Walmart .... Nice children you've got there - are they twins?" The ugly woman stops screaming long enough to say, "Hell no they ain't, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins?........ Do you really think they look alike?" "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice!"
[This message has been edited by cliffw (edited 08-17-2006).]
Posts: 33281 From: Bandera, Texas, USA Registered: Jun 2003
A young guy fron Minnesota moved to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says, "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Minnesota."
Well, the boss liked the looks of the kid, so he gave him a job and said "You start tomorrow, and I'll come down after we close and see how you did." Ok?
His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it, and after the store was locked up, the boss came down.
"How many customers bought something from you on your first day?
The kid says, "One".
The boss says, "Just One?" You know our sales people average on a slow day 20 to 30 customers, but you had "JUST ONE". And how much was your "JUST ONE for?"
The kid says, "$101,237.65".
The boss said what?... "$101,237.65? well, what the hell did you sell?''
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fishhook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine "Chis Craft".
Then he said he didn't think his "Honda Civic" would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that "4X4 Expedition."
The boss said, "A man came in here to buy a fishing hook and you sold him a "BOAT and a TRUCK?"
No the kid said, The man came in to buy "Tampons for his wife", And I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing". ____________