I have to take my baby to the airport tomorrow. She's heading off to basic training. 6 weeks of basic training, then she has tech school so she won't be back until July sometime Then she will be heading off to get married to a guy in the Army, he's stationed at Ft Bragg in NC. It's so hard to let them go, she's my last one that is home. My god, I'm a wreck, they (my girls and my hubby) are my life and now they all will be gone. So help me god, if my dog runs away, that will just be the icing on the cake.
How do you let go? For 20 years I was their mom, I know I'm still their mom, but I won't be able to see them or hug them. The best I will be able to do is call them or visit them. It will be hard to get used to that one. Anyone that has gone through this before have any advice? I can't spend more time with my husband, he's in Kuwait until May then he's stationed down in NC. Long story, some of you know it, if you don't know it, we aren't divorced or anything, we are still together, but apart until he retires. I'm here keeping the home fires burning, or at least trying to.
I'm sorry, this is just a tough one for me.
Hey come on, it's been quite some time since I whined to you all. Please forgive me for this one. I'm just really down.
Thanks for listening,
Posts: 5392 From: Tacoma, WA, USA Registered: Mar 2002
Dar, You go ahead and whine all you want, we're or at least I'm here for you. I sincerely respect you and your family for the sacrifices you all have made. It's not easy being in the Military and lately it's been even harder. Lean on your military family as much as you can, then lean on us as much as you need to. Hang in there baby!! Reminds of that cat picture.
------------------ Ron Freedom isn't Free, it's always earned. My imagination is the only limiting factor to my Fiero. Well, there is that money issue.
[This message has been edited by blackrams (edited 04-10-2006).]
Hurts to let them leave the nest, but the reunions are sweet. Best wishes for her military experience.
Wow, apart until he retires? I got out when the Army wanted to ship me on a 2 year unaccompanied tour to Korea.
Not going to join him in NC because you have a house or that a military decision?
We had our house built almost 11 years ago, I have my job that I couldn't transfer from, my daughter, the one going into basic, was in college here, he, the hubby, was supposed to be deployed every other 4 months, but that isn't happening right now, thank god. He's been down there a year and 1/2 already, he'll retire in Feb which will put him home in Dec. He comes home every few weekends and I try to get down there, but it's still hard. I guess I'm just bummed about everything right now. Give me a few weeks to get my act together and I'll be fine. Really, I will.
Ah, TG, I love you too!! How's Kim doin? and how did you make out with the tornados? Me go postal? Never!!
Ron, long time no hear. I'm hanging in there, got to sharpen my claws though, tonight I can feel them slipping off of the branch!!
[This message has been edited by fierogirls-mom (edited 04-10-2006).]
Posts: 2094 From: S. Charleston WV Registered: Apr 2004
Oh Dar I'm sorry. Just know that your kids are just a phone call away. Your not losing them forever. Cheer up I'm sure there a lots of PFFers you can be a "mom" to I dread the day my daughter goes off to college,army, or whatever she does I just know that day willl come and I hope I raised her well enough to know how to be on her own. You should think about how you have been preparing her for this day for her whole life and maybe that will give you comfort.
Posts: 3702 From: New Port Richey, FL USA Registered: May 99
Angie, you hang onto that cutie pie of yours. They grow up way too fast!!! I know I have to let go, she's a good kid, but she will have a bunch of growing up to do. I spoiled them pretty good!! I'm sure basic will knock her down a few pegs! I have to admit it, she needs that.
Don, thanks for the kind words. I know you miss your kids too. I'm sure it will work out for the best. Or at least I'll die trying to get it to!!
Posts: 35467 From: Orlando, Florida Registered: Oct 2001
And if you want, I'll send you a half eaten slab of chocolate.
Yea, I can't image that's very easy. I was [am?] the youngest in the family, and it was hard for me to leave my parents. I was living at home and everything, then just one day to up and leave to WY. And not come back. It sucks. But I'm sure it's worse for the parents. That I don't know about yet.
But, if you want, I'll send you the half eaten slab, and in Rumor fasion, I'll even wrap it in Bacon too. Hell, might even send Boonie out there with it.
PS, look at my cute bunny, it'll make you feel better.
Used is such a harsh term. . . I perfer "Previously obsessed over" ;) 88 base coupe: Busted again Wait. . . Did I just say I can't wait to do more work on my Fiero?. . .what, am I retarded?
Said by Crazy Dave "You can take Steve out of the trailer park, but you can't take the trailer park out of Steve."
(\__/) (='.'=) <<<< Cute Bunny. (")_(")
Posts: 3751 From: Edgewater Co. USofA Registered: Jan 2006
I don't know if I'm one to give any advice on this,as the only kids I have are my three cats, and I don't think any of them are planing to join the military any time soon. So all I can really say is hang in there. Joe
Posts: 20784 From: Orlando, FL Registered: Dec 2002
Hi John, yeah, I guess we will be empty nesters now. It will be a weird feeling not wondering when the girls are coming home to interupt something.
RWDPLZ, your parents may say that now, but they will miss you when you move out, unless you are an unruly kid, which by the way I don't think you are anything like that from reading your posts.
Brad, Brad, Brad, I guess you are done trapsing the globe. I alway told my girls they can come home at any point. Somehow I don't think they will take me up on the offer though. How did your adventure go?
He finally writes....Eric!!! Hope all is going well for you!! Mmmmmmm chocolate. That's okay, I'll skip the chocolate, trying to drop a few more pounds. Yep, I remember when I left home. Paybacks sure are a b!tch! Now I know how my mom felt when I left.
Thanks Joe for the kind words. Yep, I'll be hanging in there. I'll be back on my feet in no time, just got a bit bummed all at once.
Ryan, drug her? Should I drug her and tie her up and put her in the basement? lol As much as I'd love to do that just to keep her around, I want her to have a life of her own. How's FL treating you? Liking it by now?
Thanks all, she's in the shower now, we will be leaving soon. Can't wait for the Philly traffic. I look horendous, nice puffy eyes. Anyone have any cucumber slices for my eyes?
It's a hard thing to do, Darlene, letting your kids go. But, it's part of life, and as hard as it is, there's nothing you can do to change it...it's the natural course of things.
For me, it hasn't been that hard, as my kids keep coming home. My son has been in and out of the house several times since he left for college several years ago. Most recently, he moved home for about a month. He had lived with his girlfriend for a year, but they broke up, and he needed a place to stay until his new apartment was ready. He's now been gone since December, and will be gone for at least a year, as that's how long his lease is for. But this time, I don't think he'll be back...it's the first time he's ever had his own place, and has been responsible for no one but himself. He likes it...but I will admit, I miss him. He rarely calls, and he works evenings, so there is very little time that we're both off of work at the same time. I've just learned to appreciate the times that he DOES come home, or call. We get along okay, it's just that he's always been kind of a loner, and just keeps to himself.
My daughter is another story. Every year since she left for college, she's had a summer job in another town. Her aunt and uncle live there, so she basically lives with them the whole summer. Now that she's going to school back home, she spends her weekends at her aunt and uncle's place, because her boyfriend lives in the same town. So, we see very little of her. But, unlike her brother, she calls nearly every day. But it helped that she went to school in North Carolina and in Missouri....she was far enough away that she couldn't just come home when she felt like it, and so, we got used to her being gone.
But it's still tough. You've had them right there with you for so long...then, suddenly, they're gone. But it's not something that you're going through alone...every person that's had children has gone through the same thing....or will, when their time comes.
Just hang in there. You'll get through this, and it won't be long until Tom comes home and you won't be alone. In the meantime, try to find things to do to keep you occupied...pick up some new hobbies, or go visit friends, etc. It's when you're sitting home alone, dwelling on things, that they become overwhelming. If your mind is occupied, you won't be thinking about it...and the time until Tom gets back will pass very quickly.
Good luck...and you know, we're all here for you if you need to talk!
Posts: 20784 From: Orlando, FL Registered: Dec 2002
Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Ryan, drug her? Should I drug her and tie her up and put her in the basement? lol As much as I'd love to do that just to keep her around, I want her to have a life of her own. How's FL treating you? Liking it by now?
Well I guess that depends on if you have room in the basement...
FL's good... I guess. The people smell like cabbage. I wanna move north.
(Only 35 more years of school, and I just might be able to!)
Posts: 33294 From: Bandera, Texas, USA Registered: Jun 2003
Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: How do you let go?
I understand that baking cookies helps. My address is....................
Originally posted by fierogirls-mom: Anyone that has gone through this before have any advice?
Seriously Dar, it is tough and expect it. In a way it is like the fear of the unknown. I know you have experienced this a little before. The unknown in this case is the adjustment picture. How you will carry on you nurturing instinct, how you can give and recieve love, etc etc. They say time heals all wounds and in this case it does. As time goes by and you adjust, it will get easier. Staying busy helps. Be a volunteer. Actually, you are not letting go. Just redifining how your relationship exists. With the new relationship will be rewards also. Do I hear the pitter patter of grandchildren's feet ?
Originally posted by Scott-Wa: ........but the reunions are sweet.
Holidays will be more special when they come home. One of my fondest memories was going to visit my grandparents. Time to get your results. You have prepared your children for the world, time to see what a good job you did. Yes it is hard but many parenting things are. Remember, it is necessary to let go so your children can continue to grow. Also time for you to enjoy yourself. You will have time for you. Time to get a motor home and travel. Go camping. Maybe a new hobby. Baking cookies maybe Well wishes to you and yours.
[This message has been edited by cliffw (edited 04-11-2006).]
Posts: 4678 From: Staunton, VA Registered: May 2001
awww Dar..........I can't say I know how you feel since I'm the kid not the parent but I'm sorry to hear that you're lonely. Anytime you feel up to a drive you can always stop out our way! Or you can make everyone cookies and send them! :-) That will keep you busy! Or you could volunteer to be the next President of MAFOA :-) That will take up a bit of time.
At least you have us, and you honey will be home before you know it! :-) We'll be thinking of you!
Posts: 37952 From: Displaced Alaskan Registered: Jun 2003
You're not losing a daughter Dar, you're gaining a newroom to turn into what ever you want it to be. Crafts room, reading room, play room, Parts room for your Fieros... hang in there. Plant a garden or something to take your mind off it.
Mike, enjoy your time with the kids. I'm glad that yours aren't in another state. It's so much harder to see them that way. After your sons scare last year (it was last year wasn't it, I remember you saying something about that) I'm sure you enjoy any and all time spent with him.
Ryan, you're a trip. They all smell like cabbage!! Too funny!! Yep, I deliver to a retirement community and not one of them smells like cabbage!! So, maybe one day after those 35 years of school you might want to move up north. But then again, you'll be smelling like cabbage and we won't let you up here!!!
cliffw, you and those cookies. I think you need to get Cindy to start baking for you. Holidays with the family would be extra special. It will be nice if and when it does happen.
Ah Jen, now how did I know you were going to bring up the MAFOA thing. I saw your name and knew you'd mention it. Heck, I'm not even a member. I wanted to join last year at Carlisle but forgot to.
Boonie, you are just trying to get me in trouble aren't you? Heck, I can do that on my own thank you very much!! It did make me laugh, because I know you have these 3, yes 3, girls that are counting on you and who love you to death up there. I'd be old hat compared to them. Besides, I've got a special one reading this right now (okay, maybe not now, but he will read it tomorrow! ) Love you Tom!
Todd, you have a one track mind don't you? Yeah, it will be nice not worrying about when the girls are getting home.
Sara, good to hear from you. Saw your new car, okay SUV, congrats on that!! I'll be fine, how are you feeling? Never did learn the results of your operation.
Brad, I don't think your wife would like it if I adopted you! How are you feeling? I read about the hit to the head and your troubles. Been hoping that things are better for you. Best of luck to you!
Paul, I did plant a little garden and Tom is going to make her room into his train room. I'll have to find him a conductor hat! We have the spare bedroom so when they do come home to visit they will still have a place to sleep.
Thanks again for all the support. It really does mean a lot to me to know that you all care. She should be on a bus heading to Lackland AFB right now. She called me from the airport when she had to wait for 6 hours.
I can tell you from a soldiers point of view I think it is harder because you give up alot to serve your country. I left at the recruiting station with my parents crying and my dad having the pregnant frog voice. All I say is be proud no matter what and support them, send them letters and that it all means alot. To me I say its harder because when you ship off to basic training you are stepping into a new world that isn't so kind at first. Your daughter might change she might not, it all depends on how the training is and how she accepts it. I cannot vouch for air force basic training but only for the Army since thats what I currently am in. I spent my first full year in the army in basic and in tech school for electronics maintnance. To me I realized I was screwed from day one being a fat kid in Ft Benning, Georgia and put all of myself in it. Your daughter will become a better person and I hope for the best on all of you guys. Also dual military families in my eyes deserve alot of respect especially dual branch ones at that too. Right now I am at LSA Anaconda in Iraq with the 101st Airborne division. It is much harder to let go for a deployment then it is for some training. Just be glad that the airforce only does 4 month rotations rather than a year so thats the only upside. She is going to become independant now and really open a window into herself. Although being in Iraq is awful the experience is very fulfilling because it really brings comraderie out of people.
She will learn how to fold shirts well in airforce basic I left alot of fat man sweat a ft benning, I earned these dog tags
I wish her good luck
SPC Cornwell 101st Airborne 159 AVN BDE
[This message has been edited by Psychosis39 (edited 04-12-2006).]
Posts: 4360 From: Yorktown, VA Registered: Apr 2005
Darlene - Just sign up at the local recruiter and join her in basic training. Come on Darlene, I went through Basic Training 41 years ago and I could do it again today. What do you say? You sign up and I'll join you. Ed
Mike, brings back fond memories huh? Glad I could dig them up for you!
Tim, she knows everything, just ask her! I told her just do what they say when they want and keep your mouth shut. That's going to be a hard one for her!!
Psychosis39, thanks for the inside point of view. I am very proud of her, I never in a million year thought she would join the military. Gotta love the pregnant frog voice comment. We both cried when I dropped her off at the airport. I didn't think she would, but it made me feel good to know she would miss me too.
Joe, she's going into the Air National Guard, not the Army. She just married a guy in the army. Isn't her myspace page just special?
datacop, we have a calling card that's attached to our phone number, so hopefully it won't cost too much. Then when she gets in Tech school. I guess she can have her cell phone back.
Ed, how you doing? I have no doubt that you could go through basic training right now. I've seen you!! And for the over 50 crowd, you look better than some 30 year olds. Are you going to be at Carlisle this year? I don't know if we will make it and if we don't I'll miss that yearly kiss on the cheek from you!!!
Thanks again all. I'm heading home to my moms for Easter!! I don't want to spend it alone and all of the sudden I want to see my mom! See ya around next week!! Everyone have a Happy Easter, if you celebrate it that is!!
[This message has been edited by fierogirls-mom (edited 04-13-2006).]
Posts: 1407 From: Southold, New York, USA Registered: Nov 2004
Darlene ; thanks for the kind words. As in the movie -"ditto". Actually I'm over 60, but don't tell anyone. Yes I will be at Carlisle with about 8 other Long Island Fiero Enthusiasts. See you there I hope. Ed