I'm half way through my electrical engineering degree, and found these absolutely hilarious, 'cause it's SO true! Hope someone else on here gets it.

Comprehending Engineers
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring
relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of
the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?" asked the artist. Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a
mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman,
and you can go to the lab and get some work done."

Comprehending Engineers
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and
said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over,
picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and
said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will
stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you
kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING
you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it
back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've
told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do
anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The engineer said, "Look I'm an
engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's
cool."

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A Mechanical Engineer, Chemical Engineer, Electrical Engineer, and a Microsoft Certifed Systems Engineer (MCSE) are all riding in a (insert your favorite rice-mobile here) when it breaks down. They pull over and the mechanical engineer says "The engine has siezed, we will have to rebuild it." The Chemical Engineer says "Actually, the fuel mixture has become contaiminated. We will have to train the gas tank and clean the fuel pump and injectors to repair the problem. The Electrical Engineer says "Nope. The Ignition system has failed. We will have to rewire the car before we can proceed." The MCSE says "Cant we just get out of the car and get back in?

--Dillon (BSEE)

"comprehending engineers"- isn't that somewhat akin to "understanding women"?
Or did you mean that engineers are compehensive-thus women are understanding?
DJRice, I wish finding Fiero Gremlins was as easy as ctrl-alt-del.( I always wondered why keyboard makers didn't put a big red key up in the corner to commbine all three of those keys, as much as they are used.)
(edited so it might actually make sense to the reader)

[This message has been edited by maryjane (edited 02-01-2002).]

What do engineers use for birth control?

Their personalities!

If you're an engineer, then your hero is Dilbert, right?

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"Wise man say, when in doubt, mumble."

quote Originally Posted by jbigie: If you're an engineer, then your hero is Dilbert, right?

Well, I can't lie, Dilbert is by far my fave comic, but I don't subscribe to the daily Dilbert e-mail! (My friend does, and he forwards them to me...... )

Brandon

Well I'm a "Designer/drafter" and not really wanting my degree in engineering so I don't think I qualify LOL.

As to the one key for alt-ctrl-del, one button would be too easy to hit. to many people would complain about "accidentaly" hitting the button and losing all theyre work. LOL

I'm a member of DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class) and get newsletters whenever Scott Adams gets around to writing them. lol

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"Wise man say, when in doubt, mumble."

Reposted from the following thread: Junk Yard Wars, Scrap Challenge

And of course, you will know which "Engineering Take" your's falls into.

In order to understand an the mind of an Engineer and his way of thinking:

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded pprovingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't
have fit."
Comprehending Engineers - Take 2
******************************
To the optimist, the glass is half full. To the pessimist, the glass is half empty. To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
Comprehending Engineers - Take 3
******************************
A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!" The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!" The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him." [dramatic pause]
"Hi, George.
Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters.
They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group was silent for a moment.
The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight. The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them." The
engineer said, "Why can't these guys play at night?"
Comprehending Engineers - Take 4
******************************
There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Several years later the company contacted him regarding a seemingly impossible problem they were having with one of their multimillion dollar
machines. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine to
work but to no avail. In desperation, they called on the retired engineer who had solved so many of their problems in the past. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge.
He spent a day studying the huge machine. At the end of the day, he marked a small "x" in chalk on a particular component of the machine and stated, "This is where your problem is." The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. They demanded an itemized accounting of his charges. They got it!!
One chalk mark $1. Knowing where to put it $49,999. It was paid in full, and the engineer retired again in peace. Comprehending Engineers - Take 5
******************************
What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical Engineers build weapons; Civil Engineers build targets.
Comprehending Engineers - Take 6
******************************
The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Comprehending Engineers - Take 7
******************************
Three engineering students were gathered together discussing the possible
designers of the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just
look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last said, "Actually it was a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste
pipeline through a recreational area?"
Comprehending Engineers - Take 8
******************************
"Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet." ----
Scott Adams, The Dilbert Principle
Comprehending Engineers - Take 9
******************************
An architect, an artist, and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife,
building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done."
Comprehending Engineers - Take 10
*******************************
An engineer was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket,
smiled at it, and returned it to the pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it, and
put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

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"The PRE10DR"

[This message has been edited by JSocha (edited 02-04-2002).]