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wisdom? joke by ray b
Started on: 12-05-2001 07:18 PM
Replies: 3
Last post by: DRH on 12-05-2001 10:53 PM
ray b
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Report this Post12-05-2001 07:18 PM Click Here to See the Profile for ray bClick Here to Email ray bSend a Private Message to ray bDirect Link to This Post
stolen from atlas f-1 board
ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

APPEARANCE
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

COMPREHENSION
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman, before marriage and after marriage.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

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Question wonder and be wierd

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hugh
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Report this Post12-05-2001 07:47 PM Click Here to See the Profile for hughClick Here to Email hughSend a Private Message to hughDirect Link to This Post
There's a lot of truth there.
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Report this Post12-05-2001 08:19 PM Click Here to See the Profile for StandardClick Here to visit Standard's HomePageClick Here to Email StandardSend a Private Message to StandardDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by ray b:
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

I almost fell out of my chair when I read that! hehehehe

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DRH
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Report this Post12-05-2001 10:53 PM Click Here to See the Profile for DRHClick Here to Email DRHSend a Private Message to DRHDirect Link to This Post
 
quote
Originally posted by ray b:

MEMORY
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.

Yep...

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