HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.
Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note - must do more sit-ups.
Get in the shower.
Use face cloth, arm cloth,leg cloth,long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil.
Leave on hair for fifteen minutes.
Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red.
Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash.
Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off).
Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead.
Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure.
Turn off the shower.
Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
Spray mold spots with Tilex.
Get out of shower.
Dry with towel the size of a small country.
Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel.
Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs.
Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend and hour and a half getting dressed.

HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk naked to the bathroom.
If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo-woo" sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (nope).
Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror and scratch your ass.
Fart.
Get in the shower.
Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one).
Wash your face.
Wash your armpits.
Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off.
Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower.
Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area.
Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar.
Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). Make a shampoo Mohawk.
Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again.
Pee (in the shower).
Rinse off and get out of the shower.
Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time.
Partially dry off.
Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles, admire wiener size again.
Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor.
Leave bathroom fan and light on.
Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist.
If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake wiener at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again.
Throw wet towel on the bed.
Get dressed in under two minutes.
Fart.

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^{The Black Beauty (85 GT) - Bustedato (86 SE, Parts car)
Never pull your pants down in Cosco, the dang monkeys will getcha
AOL IM: KSSouter
MSN IM: I_R_Sootah@hotmail.com}

SO TRUE! heheheh

LOL!

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Have you been spying on me?

quote Originally posted by hugh: Have you been spying on me?

Havent you been wondering what that rustling in the bushes is?

to bad it doesn't say anything about women dropping the soap.

my g/f was the same. I wanted to see if she would look different wet, but i would just get yelled at.

"Woo-woo!"

And that's why women are more fun to snuggle with than men.

quote Originally posted by Formula88: And that's why women are more fun to snuggle with than men.

Been experimenting, have we?

Sorry guys, had to add this in a joke thread

Fart Football
An old man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying there a few minutes the old man farts and says, "Seven Points."

His wife rolls over and says, "What in the world was that?"

The old man replied, "It's fart football."

A few minutes later the wife lets one go and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

After about five minutes the old man farts again and says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead 14 to 7."

Not to be out done the wife rips another one and says, "Touchdown, tie score."

Five seconds go by and she lets out a squeaker and says, "Field-goal, I lead 17 to 14."

Now the pressures on and the old man refuses to get beat by a woman so he strains real hard but to no avail. Realizing a defeat is totally unacceptable he gives it everything he has but instead of farting he poops the bed.

The wife looks and says, "What the hell was that?"

The old man replied, "Half-time, Switch sides."

quote Been experimenting, have we?

ROFL!

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AIM: CanadianFiero

[This message has been edited by Ferrari_cdn (edited 12-04-2001).]

rotflmao

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Kills:
97 Neon R/T

AIM: phool88fiero

OOH....that is way too funny....laughing so hard it hurts! LOL

Gay Frank goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Frank, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS."

Frank is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says, "I want you to go home and eat five pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, twenty unpeeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, ten Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of Grapenuts cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice."

Frank asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your ass is for."

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^{The Black Beauty (85 GT) - Bustedato (86 SE, Parts car)
Don't sweat the petty things, and don't pet the sweaty things
AOL IM: KSSouter
MSN IM: I_R_Sootah@hotmail.com}

soooo true lol

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1986 Fiero SE 2.8lv6

www.geocities.com/acme_s2000/intro.html
yo_sweet!

LOL, all of these jokes are great. I think I'll print them out for future use .