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More reasons the English language is hard to understand by DRH
Started on: 08-31-2001 11:41 AM
Replies: 13
Last post by: Cliff Pennock on 09-01-2001 05:27 AM
DRH
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Report this Post08-31-2001 11:41 AM Click Here to See the Profile for DRHClick Here to Email DRHSend a Private Message to DRHDirect Link to This Post
The bandage was wound around the wound.

The farm was used to produce produce.

The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

We must polish the Polish furniture.

He could lead if he would get the lead out.

The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

I did not object to the object.

The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

They were too close to the door to close it.

The buck does funny things when the does are present.

A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

After a number of injections my jaw got number.

Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one mend?

If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form
by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all).

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

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Voytek
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Report this Post08-31-2001 11:59 AM Click Here to See the Profile for VoytekClick Here to Email VoytekSend a Private Message to VoytekDirect Link to This Post
Woa, man!! (not woman) This is funny. I know what you mean!
I had to learn English from the time I was 12. Many immigrants will never comprehend this language. Ironic as it is, this is the language the world speaks.

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JSocha
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Report this Post08-31-2001 12:14 PM Click Here to See the Profile for JSochaSend a Private Message to JSochaDirect Link to This Post
Ever seen the comedian Gallagher? In one of his comedy shows, he talks about the English Language.

Poem - P-O-E-M
Hoem? - H-O-E-M?
NO! H-O-M-E

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Jaygee79
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Report this Post08-31-2001 01:01 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Jaygee79Click Here to Email Jaygee79Send a Private Message to Jaygee79Direct Link to This Post
I had to stop reading after the first 5 or 6. My head was starting to hurt

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DRH
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Report this Post08-31-2001 01:15 PM Click Here to See the Profile for DRHClick Here to Email DRHSend a Private Message to DRHDirect Link to This Post
I saw Gallagher live about 1991. He was on HBO a lot around then with long hair. When I saw him live he came out with long hair and a hat. He went through this bit about women dressing like men and gender roles changing then yanked off his hat and HAIR! It was a wig, he had shaved his head and said it was staying like that until women quit wearing suits!!!

Funny guy. He did a whole bit about english pronunciations, one leading to the next. He also did an 'Only in America...' bit with stuff like 'do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway.' Not sure where the stuff I posted came from but it does sound a lot like him.

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JSocha
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Report this Post08-31-2001 01:47 PM Click Here to See the Profile for JSochaSend a Private Message to JSochaDirect Link to This Post
It is him! I'm a huge Gallegher fan. He was in Fargo recently, but the wife had to work that morning and wasn't up for the drive to go see him...

"Why do they call em buildings when they are already built? They should call em BUILTS!"

Seen the show when he had shaved.

Regarding his hair (can't remember how he worded it):
"I don't wash my hair. Its just gonna fall out anyways. May as well take the dirt with it. Makes me wonder what held it in yesterday...

I don't cut it either. You don't prune a dead tree, do yah?!?!?!"

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Formula88
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Report this Post08-31-2001 01:56 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Formula88Send a Private Message to Formula88Direct Link to This Post
And,
You drive on a parkway but park in a driveway.

Thank you Gallager.

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84Bill
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Report this Post08-31-2001 02:00 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 84BillClick Here to visit 84Bill's HomePageSend a Private Message to 84BillDirect Link to This Post
Hehe thats like Speak, we speak to some one in the present but in the past we spoke to them. But when I spoke my bike wheel I don't say a word

[This message has been edited by 84Bill (edited 08-31-2001).]

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Report this Post08-31-2001 02:01 PM Click Here to See the Profile for 84BillClick Here to visit 84Bill's HomePageSend a Private Message to 84BillDirect Link to This Post

84Bill

21085 posts
Member since Apr 2001
oops

[This message has been edited by 84Bill (edited 08-31-2001).]

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Indiana_resto_guy
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Report this Post08-31-2001 03:43 PM Click Here to See the Profile for Indiana_resto_guyClick Here to Email Indiana_resto_guySend a Private Message to Indiana_resto_guyDirect Link to This Post
YA GOTTA LOVE IT!!!!!
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LZeitgeist
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Report this Post08-31-2001 04:56 PM Click Here to See the Profile for LZeitgeistClick Here to Email LZeitgeistSend a Private Message to LZeitgeistDirect Link to This Post
I DO!!!! That's awesome!!! I gotta save that one!

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Patrick W. Heinske -- LZeitgeist@aol.com
1988 Red Fiero Formula
- 1st Place - Stock Coupe - FOCOSEVA 2000
- 3rd Place - Stock Formula - FOCOA Nat'l 2001

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Report this Post08-31-2001 09:45 PM Click Here to See the Profile for My7FierosSend a Private Message to My7FierosDirect Link to This Post
Imagine someone who speaks little English hearing someone say "I quit smoking cold turkey!"
(Edited because I can speak English, just can't spell it!

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My 7 Fieros

[This message has been edited by My7Fieros (edited 08-31-2001).]

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fogglethorpe
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Report this Post09-01-2001 03:46 AM Click Here to See the Profile for fogglethorpeSend a Private Message to fogglethorpeDirect Link to This Post
When we "redouble our efforts", does that mean we quadrupled them?

Why does the Department of the Interior deal with stuff that's outside?

Why is it called rush hour when no one
seems to be in a hurry?

If I take a "proactive" approach to
something, will a "conactive" or "antiactive"
person want to argue with me?

And last (or is it "lastly"?)
Can we fry bacon while bakin' fries?

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Cliff Pennock
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Report this Post09-01-2001 05:27 AM Click Here to See the Profile for Cliff PennockClick Here to visit Cliff Pennock's HomePageClick Here to Email Cliff PennockSend a Private Message to Cliff PennockDirect Link to This Post
Bare with me, I've got a bear with me.

The crowd is too dense to dance.

How can your temperature be too high if you have a cold?

If I buy a pair of scissors, why do I only get one?

If you wake up late you sleep in, so if you get up early, do you sleep out?

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