THERMODYNAMICS OF HELL

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the
professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of
course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law,
(gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or
some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we
need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they
are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, lets look at the different
religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state
that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not
belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to
Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number
of souls in Hell to increase initially.

Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's
Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to
stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls
are added. This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose.

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during
my Freshman year, "...that it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep
with you.", and take into account the fact that I still have not
succeeded
in having sexual relations with her, then, #2 cannot be true, and thus I
am sure that Hell is exothermic and will not freeze.

The student received the only "A" given.

That is great!!!! I'm going to have to print it out and give it to my chemistry teacher!!

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'87 Coupe 5spd.
AIM:FieroJoe87

This was funny when I posted it here a few weeks ago and it still is.

I just had a deja vu-no wait, I did read this before. Very funny, though.

You guys are bursting my bubble. Here I thought I was on the cutting edge of the email chain.