Damnit!!! My freaken pizza is getting cold!!!!! You mean the speed limit isn't 100?!?! How long did it take for you to get out of middle school!? Are you drunk??? I wasn't going that fast! Buy a tread mill!
Posts: 1992 From: Sebastopol, CA Registered: Nov 2000
"Well, some kids at school have like 4 tickets already. So I'm behind 'em." -My brother, on his second ticket in a year of driving, after he was going 108, saw a cop 20 feet ahead, locked the brakes up w/ smoke billowing out of the wheel wells, passed him; no radar, brought a kid home so the cop passed, driving home going 70 in a 55, "oh crap, there he is again!". Cop pulls an illegal U-turn in the middle of the road, gives my brother a ticket. Another thing not to do in front of a cop: do a nice little burn out and run a stop sign, then speed away. No ticket for that. My parents did get a call though..
Posts: 3522 From: Felton, MN, USA Registered: Apr 2001
I'mmmm am not drunk! And ifns you don't believe me off...officer go talk to the tar bender. <*hic*><*belch*> --------------------- When the officer asks, "Have you been drinking?"
"DO NOT" point to your forehead where you have just recently placed the freshly peeled label from your beer bottle and respond with: "No officer. I'm trying to quit. See? I'm even wearing the patch!". --------------------- Do not respond with this old joke if he asks you why you were speeding:
"My wife recently ran off with a (police/highway patrol) officer and I though you were him trying to bring her back". ---------------------- If an officer confiscates your beer, do not grab the ice bags and tell him the beer is a warm and that he will need the ice as well.
That one landed me in jail for the night and I was the Designated Driver while everyone else got to go home...he didn't like my attitude...go figure . ------------------
"Oh - Tar Bender?"
[This message has been edited by JSocha (edited 04-13-2001).]
Posts: 485 From: London, Ont. Canada Registered: Jun 2000
Cant really think of funny excuses off hand....I remember stopping this lady once and she looked at me w/ this innocent look on her face and she said "did I do something wrong?", while at the same time her radar detector was flashing and beeping like it was going to explode. I do remember stopping this gang banger looking guy because he had threatend somebody w/a knife in the car....when it was obvious he was going to jail, he stated (in his most convincing voice).."but officuh, Im a professional butcha..thats why I gots the knife"...................... uh huh
Apr 14th, 2001
Posts: 38427 From: Carrollton GA. Out in the... country. Registered: Oct 1999
My favorite was from the ticket I got that cost me my licence. Out on the highway, completely dead, putting my new(to me)car through it's paces. Not bad for a Mazda Protege: 193kph. Top speed's supposed to be 180 Speed limits 100kph, on the "Perimeter Highway" (runs in an almost circle around the cit) except at the intersections, where it instantly becomes an 80... I was slowing down from going all-out, about 130 on my speedo when I saw the lights (behind me). I continued speed, hoping it wasn't me, but when it was clear that it was, pulled over to wait. Cop comes up, shaking his head. "Good evening officer! (in my most neutral voice)" "Man, this one's gonna be costly. You know the drill?" "Nah, it's my first, but I'm betting that you want my papers..." "Yeah..." I hand him licence and registration. He goes back into the car, a few minutes later comes back: "Now WHY were you going that fast? If you'd been going just a little slower, we'd have packed up and left already..." "So NOW you tell me..." We both start laughing, and I continue on my way. Of course, it's AFTER when I pay the ticket do I find out that 132 in an 80 is over 50kph over posted limit, which equals a suspended licence. I have NEVER done anything like that again, and probably will not ever. 3 months looking at my car on the driveway was as good a lesson as any. I do NOT and have never sped in the city, (well, 10kph over at the most) but that was the last time I ever do the speed thing outside of a track. It's just not worth it.