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The Oil Change by MontanaFiero
Started on: 03-20-2001 02:06 AM
Replies: 7
Last post by: rodmcneill on 03-20-2001 10:27 PM
MontanaFiero
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Report this Post03-20-2001 02:06 AM Click Here to See the Profile for MontanaFieroClick Here to Email MontanaFieroSend a Private Message to MontanaFieroDirect Link to This Post


>Subject: Oil Change

>
>Oil Changing Instructions for Women:
>
>1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil
>change. 2) Drink a cup of coffee. 3) 15 minutes later, write a check and
>leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
>
>Money spent: $20.00 for oil change $1.00 for coffee Total = $21.00 16
>minutes
>
>============================================================ Oil Change
>instructions for Men:
>
>1) Go to O' Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50.00 for oil,filter,
>kitty Litter, hand cleaner rags and a scented tree. 2) Discover that the
>used oil container is full. Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to
>recycle, dump in hole in back yard. 3) Open a beer and drink it. 4) Jack
>car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands. 5) Find jack stands under
>kid's pedal car. 6) In frustration, open another beer and drink it. 7)
>Place drain pan under engine. 8) Look for 9/16 box end wrench. 9) Give up
>and use crescent wrench. 10) Unscrew drain plug. 11) Drop drain plug in pan
>of hot oil: get hot oil on you in process. 12) Clean up mess. 13) Have
>another beer while watching oil drain. 14) Look for oil filter wrench. 15)
>Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off. 16) Beer. 17)
>Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
>18) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car. 19) Throw
>kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18. 20) Beer. No, drank it all
>yesterday. 21) Walk to 7-11; buy beer. 22) Install new oil filter making
>sure to apply a thin coat of oil to gasket surface. 23) Dump first quart of
>fresh oil into engine. 24) Remember drain plug from step 11. 25) Hurry to
>find drain plug in drain pan. 26) Discover that the used oil is buried in a
>hole in the back yard, along with drain plug. 27) Drink beer. 28) Uncover
>hole and sift for drain plug. 29) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is
>now on the floor. 30) Drink beer. 31) Slip with wrench tightening drain
>plug and bang knuckles on frame. 32) Bang head on floor boards in reaction
>to step 31. 33) Begin cussing fit. 34) Throw wrench. 35) Cuss for
>additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992)in her
>overabundant chest. 35) Beer. 36) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage
>as required to stop blood flow. 37) Beer. 38) Beer. 39) Dump in five fresh
>quarts of oil. 40) Beer. 41) Lower car from jack stands. 42) Accidentally
>crush one of the jack stands. 43) Move car back to apply more kitty litter
>to fresh oil spilled during step 23. 44) Beer. 45) Test drive car. 46) Get
>pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence. 47) Car gets
>impounded. 48) Make bail: Get car from impound yard.
>
>Money spent: $50.00 parts $25.00 beer $75.00 replacement set of jack stands
>$1,000.00 Bail $200.00 Impound and towing fee
>
>Total = $1350.00 27 hours great prices!
>

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FieroJoe
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Report this Post03-20-2001 10:23 AM Click Here to See the Profile for FieroJoeClick Here to Email FieroJoeSend a Private Message to FieroJoeDirect Link to This Post
Hahaha!

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AIM: Snowboarder0311
87 Coupe 5sp. - big resto in progress

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TheFiero64
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Report this Post03-20-2001 10:48 AM Click Here to See the Profile for TheFiero64Click Here to visit TheFiero64's HomePageClick Here to Email TheFiero64Send a Private Message to TheFiero64Direct Link to This Post
LOL, but I always change my own oil.

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Josh

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MontanaFiero
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Report this Post03-20-2001 11:08 AM Click Here to See the Profile for MontanaFieroClick Here to Email MontanaFieroSend a Private Message to MontanaFieroDirect Link to This Post
I Normally change my own oil, but then again I've always driven big chevy trucks. This year I bought a Fiero. This year it took me forever to change the oil. And I had to put the damned thing on jack stands to do it. Then I had to get a damned ladder out because the car was so high. So I went and bought a set of ramps, but decided it was a whole lot easier just to pay the twenty-four bucks -- and besides, I get a free carwash that way too.
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rogergarrison
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Report this Post03-20-2001 11:41 AM Click Here to See the Profile for rogergarrisonClick Here to Email rogergarrisonSend a Private Message to rogergarrisonDirect Link to This Post
I never change oil at a fast lube type place. I personnaly know of at least 3 people who found out there oil plug was loose. I girl blew her engine on a trip to florida in a brand new Firebird. She did collect from them when she sued luckily. Other 2 were lucky enough to discover a large oil puddle when they went home. I had them change my tranny fluid in my Lincoln and they stripped half of the pan bolts letting it leak fluid bad. Thats what you get with 8th grade graduate mechanics.
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btoth
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Report this Post03-20-2001 02:04 PM Click Here to See the Profile for btothClick Here to Email btothSend a Private Message to btothDirect Link to This Post
I got my oil changed at the local Lube Stop last month. They successfully changed the oil but inflated my tires so much that it felt like I had power steering and took me ten minutes to un-inflate afterwards. They spent a good ten minutes just looking for the stupid air filter... aparently ignoring the K&N sticker on the underside of the engine cover. When they found out it was a K&N they were pissed and then couldn't seem to put the vents back on properly. The poor kid then tried to oil my door only to wack himself with it because there's no spring and it and it just swings freely. Needless to say, the kid fell on his butt and looked stupid. Haha. I love getting my oil changed.
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rogergarrison
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Report this Post03-20-2001 02:07 PM Click Here to See the Profile for rogergarrisonClick Here to Email rogergarrisonSend a Private Message to rogergarrisonDirect Link to This Post
lol, sounds like Keystone Kops changed their line of work. At least you got a free comedy show. I did make the mistake of taking the Mercedes once. They checked my air filter too (also a K&N w/sticker) and managed to break a sensor going into the air cleaner housing. I made them pay the $250.00 to replace it. Still didnt learn my lesson. I took it to another one told them to ONLY CHANGE OIL & FILTER AND NOTHING ELSE !! Instead they checked my rear end grease and let the wrench slip breaking off a fitting in bottom of gas tank dumping 20 gals of gas in the bay. NEVER AGAIN 4 ME!!

[This message has been edited by rogergarrison (edited 03-20-2001).]

[This message has been edited by rogergarrison (edited 03-20-2001).]

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rodmcneill
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Report this Post03-20-2001 10:27 PM Click Here to See the Profile for rodmcneillClick Here to Email rodmcneillSend a Private Message to rodmcneillDirect Link to This Post
I was taking mine to the local Midas shop but no more. My first indication of problems was when the "oil technican" looked under the front hood for the engine! When I got home I checked the oil filter and drain plug for tightness, they were ok. Driving about two weeks later, going around a corner fairly fast, the oil pressure light came on. I discovered I was 2 quarts low! The numbskull had forgot to put in 2 more bottled quarts of Castrol oil. Luckily no damage... sofar. Another reason I don't go to the quickie lubes anymore is that changing the oil filter on the V6 is a pain in the ass, if you are not carefull you can pickup dirt from the underside of the vehicle on the face of the oil filter as you try to snake it into place. Do you think a quick lube guy is going to pull it back out and wipe it off if it gets dirt on it? I don't think so.
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