HowTo: Sending me nasty emails.
Topic started by: Cliff Pennock, Date: 12-21-2010 09:36 PM
Original thread:

Cliff Pennock ( MSG #1, 12-21-2010 09:36 PM
      Lately, it seems that sending me nasty emails has become the favorite pastime of a lot of people. I suspect these people are members of this forum - perhaps even banned members. But usually these emails are so incoherent that I can't be certain. That's why I feel it's necessary to write this HowTo.

HowTo: Sending me nasty emails

  1. Identify yourself
    I understand you wish to remain anonymous so I'm not asking you to identify yourself with your real name. Chances are that if you give me your real name, I still have no idea who you are. But leaving out any indication of what/who/where you are makes your entire rant, well, pointless. How am I supposed to feel bad about something if you keep me guessing what your email is pertaining to? So if you are a member on this forum, please include your user name. So I at least can look it up and see why you are throwing a fit. Otherwise, you are simply leaving me in the dark. For instance, some time ago, I got this through mail. It made no sense to me at all. Still doesn't.

    you stupid **** you are no better then the rest if you allow such things why me and not the others i could come back but whatsthe point

    Which brings me to my second point:

  2. Use proper punctuation
    Seriously, I truly understand you must be mad about something or you wouldn't go through the trouble of sending me an email. I mean, it means you have to spend extra time behind your computer while you could be out with your friends drinking a beer instead, or find out why your wife/girlfriend has been wearing sexy lingerie all evening and why she's calling you from the bedroom because she needs "something fixed". Heck, it's not like you want to spend your waking hours behind a keyboard... But even so, please take a bit more time making your email more readable next time. If you want me to take you seriously, at least try to make it look a bit less like it was written by an incoherent raving idiot. You is an intelligent person! Yes you is! So show it by using a full stop every now and then. Perhaps even use capitals at the beginning of a sentence. Oh, and perhaps do a refresh course English. I'm Dutch but my English is quite a bit better than yours. That must be embarrassing.

  3. Don't pretend to be somebody you are not
    And with that I don't mean false names or stuff like that, but for instance don't pretend to be some l33t hacker when you are not. I have worked in Information Technology for over 35 years now so I kinda know what is real and what's just "IT bluff". For instance, I got this through email today:

    you cant stop me from joining. i can create severl ip addresses so if i want i could mess up your forum

    First of all, kudos for using a full stop in that sentence and for mentioning the forum so I can at least presume you must be a banned member (just keep working on those capital letters 'mkay?). Second, you know you could make a killing creating IP addresses? There's a tremendous shortage so if you are able to create them, you could make a fortune! Seriously, all kidding aside, next time don't try to explain how you are going to mess up my forum. Something like this is much more effective:

    You can't stop me from joining. I can seriously mess up your forum if I truly wanted to.

    Now that was frightening. Although the "if I truly wanted to" usually translates to "if I knew how" in my mind - so best to leave that out.

  4. Turn off your automatic signature
    If you are going to threaten me, make sure you have your automatic signature turned off. You have any idea how stupid you look when I receive something like this:

    you are a ******* ******* and if i see you im going to kick your face in

    Kind regards,

    Johnatan Doe
    123 Westminster Street
    Somecity ST 12345

    Again, if you want me to take you seriously, at least show some sign of intelligence.

  5. Say to yourself: what would a 12-year old do?
    And then do the exact opposite. Really, PhotoShopping a picture of me you found on the internet isn't going to make me pee my pants. What are you expecting? That I think "Oh noes, this guy has mad PhotoShop skillz - better watch out for him!"? Focus! You are trying to insult me! Not trying to get a job at my company as a graphics designer! Also, calling me "gay", "douchebag", "dickhead" or anything else you can come up with doesn't really entices me thinking I'm dealing with an adult here.

    HowTo: Sending me nasty emails Part II

    First of all, If you are wondering what happened to part 2-10, then yeah, you are probably one of the people I wrote this HowTo for...

  6. Use a map
    Ok, I might be confusing you here. Why would you need a map to send me a nasty email? I'll tell you why. Look up where you live. Then look up where I live. See how far we are apart? Perhaps you remember from your high school days that we in Europe live in a different timezone than you do. And perhaps you even remember what that means. Let me refresh your memory. It means that there's at least a 6 hour time difference between you and me. Meaning, if you live on the east coast and send me a nasty email at 10PM, I receive it at 4AM. No, not because it took 6 hours for the email to arrive. Sheesh, haven't you been paying attention? It's because when it's 10PM where you live, it's 4AM where I live. So when you send me another nasty email at 10:05PM wondering why I haven't answered you yet, it's not because:

    No balls to respond with an intelligent answer ? Or just no intelligent answer to respond with ?

    No, it's because I'm asleep you moron!

  7. Be more specific
    Trying to impress me with vague statements, well, isn't going to. For instance, a few days ago I got this through email.

    I don't need you. My local Fiero club is enough. And only 1 of them is a member of your forum.

    So this is going to impress me, how? Be more specific! Say something like "My local Fiero club with a thousand members is all I need. And only one person thinks it's of any use being a member of your forum". Now that would impress me. The way you formulated it though, an image forms in my head where I see you and your G.I. Joe action figures sitting around a small table drinking tea pretending to be "the local Fiero club".

This concludes part 2 of my HowTo. Who knows, maybe I'll post a part III!!!

[Edited by Cliff Pennock: Added part 2]

$Rich$ ( MSG #2, 12-21-2010 09:38 PM
      ill take the blame, i did it, ban me

Zeb MSG #3, 12-21-2010 09:41 PM
      I'm waiting with baited breath! Thanks, I wasn't really sure how to be a complete idiot. Despite having grown up in New Jersey.

InTheLead MSG #4, 12-21-2010 09:47 PM
      Don't make me telnet to your wingate and root your box

MidEngineManiac MSG #5, 12-21-2010 09:47 PM
      I'm not real worried about it...........

Cliff has 20,000 guys to step up for him.......

a couple shouldnt be that much of a problem.

newf MSG #6, 12-21-2010 09:48 PM
      Got to say, this is one of, if not the best run site I have ever been on. You have been nothing if not fair to anyone I have seen have issues on here.

Whoever these people are that are sending you this stuff, they really need to get a life.

Thank you for the site and keep up the great work Cliff.

Formula88 MSG #7, 12-21-2010 10:02 PM
      Outstanding, Cliff!

Shananigans MSG #8, 12-21-2010 10:15 PM
      What a completely ignorant fool and a pathetic coward, hiding not so anonymously behind a keyboard. Maybe I should be worried now,I live in the states, he could come kick my face in, I'm scared. NOT

Patrick's Dad ( MSG #9, 12-21-2010 11:09 PM
      This is classic. Especially:

Originally posted by Cliff:

I'm Dutch but my English is quite a bit better than yours. That must be embarrassing.

Jefrysuko MSG #10, 12-21-2010 11:22 PM
Originally posted by Cliff Pennock:

You is an intelligent person! Yes you is!

Good Golley, your right. I is smart. Just like my Mama told me!

kwagner MSG #11, 12-21-2010 11:25 PM

fieroguy123 ( MSG #12, 12-22-2010 12:09 AM
      OMG I'm dying sitting here waiting on part 2!

Marvin McInnis MSG #13, 12-22-2010 12:25 AM
Originally posted by Cliff Pennock:

I'm Dutch but my English is quite a bit better than yours. That must be embarrassing.

One would think so, but some people seem defiantly proud of their marginal literacy. Silly guy ... it's your responsibility to accept their laziness and your responsibility to understand what they're trying to say!

Oh ... and if I ever send you a nastygram, I assure you that it will be signed with my real name, on purpose.

[This message has been edited by Marvin McInnis (edited 12-22-2010).]

Wichita ( MSG #14, 12-22-2010 12:31 AM

spark1 MSG #15, 12-22-2010 01:28 AM
      I’m cutting words out of magazines, pasting them on paper and mailing them to Cliff.

Hope he doesn’t notice my return address label.

billpapps MSG #16, 12-22-2010 03:53 AM
Originally posted by spark1:

I’m cutting words out of magazines, pasting them on paper and mailing them to Cliff.

Hope he doesn’t notice my return address label.

Now thats funny... HEH

I read most my mail with fort agent. Its pretty hard to spoof where it came from with out a lot of trouble. If he is
able to spoof it.. I would think he been doing illegal activate anyways..

I ran gaming severs for a long time.. I am sure that this forum gets hit just like my severs did.
It always seemed to me that Cliff had this will under control..

Empty worthless threats would piss me off faster then real ones.

FriendGregory ( MSG #17, 12-22-2010 04:29 AM
      Thanks, now that I have the correct format, it is time for me to start sending....not!

jimbolaya ( MSG #18, 12-22-2010 07:49 AM


FieroRumor ( MSG #19, 12-22-2010 09:37 AM
      Lol @ # 4

fastblack MSG #20, 12-22-2010 10:04 AM
Originally posted by FieroRumor:

Lol @ # 4

Lol, it's like prank calling and not using *67...not that I know the proper protocol for prank calling or anything, er.....

fierobear ( MSG #21, 12-22-2010 10:22 AM
Originally posted by Zeb:

I'm waiting with baited breath! Thanks, I wasn't really sure how to be a complete idiot. Despite having grown up in New Jersey.

You can't be a *complete* idiot until you've grown up in Jersey AND moved to New York. You earn intelligence points back for getting disgusted and moving to Pennsylvania.

Doni Hagan MSG #22, 12-22-2010 01:32 PM
      "123 Westminster Street
Somecity ST 12345"

Ooops....did I REALLY leave my home address on there??

BTW, Cliff....please have a safe and happy holiday!

avengador1 ( MSG #23, 12-22-2010 01:37 PM
      This just shows how some people have no class and can't get over being banned for being jerks.

Larryh86GT MSG #24, 12-22-2010 01:48 PM
      Use proper punctuation
This is going to stop a lot of folks from sending you emails Cliff.


nellieship ( MSG #25, 12-22-2010 04:01 PM
      Absolutely loved this post! Made me laugh out loud Cliff!

Nurb432 MSG #26, 12-22-2010 04:17 PM
Originally posted by Larryh86GT:

Use proper punctuation
This is going to stop a lot of folks from sending you emails Cliff.


Just as long as its not a new rule to be able to post. If so, i'm screwed.

starlightcoupe MSG #27, 12-22-2010 04:57 PM
      Now that I know how to send you a nasty email, are there any rules for nice emails?

Your English is impeccable while my German seems to have a Dutch accent. I was asked several times, "Sind sie Hollander?"

pontiackid86 ( MSG #28, 12-22-2010 05:00 PM
      Geese cliff.. lot of haters out there..... None of this compares to redfieroman aka fierofury33 though.
Ima punch you in the face old man


[This message has been edited by pontiackid86 (edited 12-22-2010).]

Cliff Pennock ( MSG #29, 12-22-2010 06:28 PM
      Added point 6 and 7 (part 2).

tonycampbell86gt ( MSG #30, 12-22-2010 08:07 PM
      Well said, Cliff!


Blacktree ( MSG #31, 12-22-2010 09:32 PM
      Funny stuff! LOL

heybjorn ( MSG #32, 12-22-2010 09:35 PM
Trying to impress me with vague statements,

Well, some of us aren't Dutch so this is the best we can do. Even with help from fierofetish about Europe.

( That Dutch place is in Europe, isn't it? )

Back On Holiday ( MSG #33, 12-22-2010 09:53 PM

The one sentence you posted reminded me of lowlux

86FieroSEv6 ( MSG #34, 12-22-2010 10:28 PM
      The fact that there could be material out there for a part III has me a teensy bit worried about the future of the human race. Cliff . . . . you da man, fo sho!

Flamberge MSG #35, 12-22-2010 10:37 PM
      HAHAHAHA!!!! This is great stuff!

The best is accidentally leaving the signature on the email. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

maryjane MSG #36, 12-23-2010 03:02 AM
      Aw man, did ya have to associate GI Joe with him? Couldn't you have used Barney the Purple Dinosaur, Teletubbies, or Disco Barbie action figures instead?
GI Joe is cool.

fierofetish ( MSG #37, 12-23-2010 03:09 AM
      Tell ya what, Cliff There would be good money to be made, if you put them all on discs, and sold them by the volume 1,2,3...etc I'd willingly pay $10 just to read them
Edit to add: could call them the 'PFF CSI files'---'Cliff's Slimy Inbox files'

[This message has been edited by fierofetish (edited 12-23-2010).]

maryjane MSG #38, 12-23-2010 03:14 AM
      You callin Cliff's inbox slimy?

fierofetish ( MSG #39, 12-23-2010 03:52 AM
      Nah!! Just some of the content Don

Patrick ( MSG #40, 12-23-2010 04:13 AM
Originally posted by Cliff Pennock:

The way you formulated it though, an image forms in my head where I see you and your G.I. Joe action figures sitting around a small table drinking tea pretending to be "the local Fiero club".

I believe the drink of choice for one of these morons would more likely be a Slurpee.

avengador1 ( MSG #41, 12-23-2010 11:36 AM
      I picture them being with a Tearie Dearie Doll more than a GI Joe. That doll fits their character better.

N3M3S1S ( MSG #42, 12-23-2010 11:40 AM
      So if I were to send you hate mail but end it with "I love you" that would make it not hate mail, right?

Cheever3000 MSG #43, 03-30-2016 08:05 PM
      Holy crap. I just now saw this thread.
I was so busted, and didn't even know it.

johnt671 ( MSG #44, 04-04-2016 05:34 PM
      I just saw this too. How did I miss it? Cliff, you should write a book on this subject. It would be a pretty good comedy.

hugh ( MSG #45, 08-05-2016 02:24 PM
      Cliff, I haven't read anything that good in a long time !! it seems your little forum is not as little as I remember it (@ my age(76) and health. I'm lucky if I remember to unzip when I go in the John). I am going to leave all the things that I love about this forum and become just another ex-member after I sell my 88 Fiero with a supercharged 3800 and 4 speed automatic(new engine/rebuilt trans.) and my 87 that has about 800hp(Turbo/383 chevy). I have over $100,000 invested in this car that was put together by Jon Lagler (Rockcrawl). At one time I wanted to have the fastest street legal Fiero in the country.Now I'll be happy to just not lose any more money than necessary. I have tried to make friends with some of the people I didn't get along with.I have not ,to this point,been very let me take this opportunity to say......We fought like hell among ourselves sometimes,but if help was needed,we got or gave it.If anyone wants more on these cars call 8564695070 before11PM EDST.

82-T/A [At Work] MSG #46, 04-17-2017 08:52 PM
      I just saw this thread now too!!! And it's 7 years after he posted it! Man I feel dumb...

Fierochic88 ( MSG #47, 06-02-2018 08:22 PM
      OMG, I just discovered this thread. It's priceless.

starlightcoupe MSG #48, 12-26-2018 10:04 PM
      Cliff, I took a long sweep around Asia to try to lose my mind, I mean, my depression but thus far, it hasn't worked so in a month or so (unless I find a teaching job in a little known republic in the South Pacific), I'll go to Europe and spend most of my smaller stash of savings. One of my stops and visits will be Amsterdam. My wife and I visited your neck of the woods twice or maybe even more. We both liked it especially the Rijksmuseum and the ladies in the windows. Not necessarily in that order and window ladies. But my wife passed away last June 4 and I am in free fall and need a direction to follow. Grief is hell. I'll rent a car and visit old haunts and look for my mind.

I have friends in France, Belgium, Spain and Germany and I hope to couch surf with them (not literally [i][/i]with them but I hope to stay until I begin to smell like an Ami). If you still have your Fiero and you need some amateur mechanic assistance, I'll give a hand to you while I am there and since I am a self appointed electronics genius, I can help you with electrical things in your car. My wife and I went to Keukenhof gardens and I want to visit this coming spring and ride a bike again--the same as when I lived in Germany.

Watch out for a short old guy with white hair and a lost look on his face and that should be me. I think I'll be ready to go in late winter or early spring if I don't have to become a teach-er. I promise to not send you nasty emails despite my strong desire to do so. Now I am waiting for your reply. It is only 4am in Holland-Netherlands and I expect a reply. (I'll read your return email when it arrives--just kidding a little)

Merry Christmas and I wish you a happy new year!